Authorised version

Me that is!

In a bizarre quirk of faith (oops wierdly meant to write 'fate' but this is kind of freudian so I'll leave it) that proves the church of England is not what it once was! I have been authorised to preach for three years (authorised that is, not talk for three years! Although undoubtedly it could be done!!) by the Bishop of Oxford. And he's coming in June (hopefully with his big pointy hat) to make it all official.

Only slight sting in the tale is that we found out last night this requires three study projects at the equivalent of first year degree level and since we've signed up it's a litttle difficult to squirm out of (even though noone told us this in advance and I only do three services a year!!). So watch this space...Little-flower may be coming to a church near you! (actually relax, I wont it only licences me to preach in our benefice - don't you love red tape!) And before anyone get's all high and mighty I DO think it's a good idea to ensure that people who preach know what they're talking about, so I'm not uppity about that!

All this on the week we discussed women in leadership as a team...hhhmmn!

More food!

Actually that last post reminded me to go and pick up a parcel from the sorting office...pinhead oatmeal from Scotland! We had it as porridge over Easter and it's like nothing else, loads more texture and really creamy. So it's move over Quaker, Spoffs pinhead is gonna stick it to you, Jimmy!!

Only problem ...porridge doesn't really go with 22 degree heat, hey ho it'll keep.

Found some food!

I love looking for new blogs, especially those about faith (or food for that matter!) I came across www.markscandrette.com - via Jonny Baker's blog (I think - you know what these blog trails are like) he has some great thoughts and has just published a new book called Soul Grafitti (what a great title, he was giving 10 away so I asked for one but he is in the US so I'll forgive him if he chooses someone else!!).

One post included this ...thought it was a new way at looking at the stages or changes we go through on our faith journey and I liked the metaphor of conversions!

"Evan Howard suggests that spiritual conversion, rather than being a singular event is more accurately a series of distinctive epiphanies (ie. a conversion to the role of the Spirit, a conversion to social justice, a conversion to contemplative practices, etc). These are not conversions from one system to another, but represent the gradual complimentary and holistic renewal of the soul. These progressive awakenings can sometimes create a sense of grief and regret. For anyone not in a space of liminality, criticism, doubt and risky exploration may seem pessimistic and deconstructive. When we experience the deconstruction of our faith we are in good company with many of the characters of ancient scripture, whose expectations of what it meant to follow God were constantly being challenged and subverted".

It also seemed to tie in with Mark Berry's talk at team retreat about their community life in Telford... he was excellent (if at times uncomfortable for a whole variety of reasons and in different ways to different people - but all good) about the need to prophetically reimagine the outworking of our faith.

Receiving

I'm not very good at this especially if it's compliments or gifts/praise I don't think I've earnt. But Greenhill taught me to do just that, an extravagant gift and I had to do nothing to deserve it and the most honouring thing I could do to the givers was enjoy it to the max.

Then I have started to read Contemplative Youth Ministry by Mark Yaconelli and he has a whole section on receiving that really made me think. Here's some of what he has to say....

"Now how many of us who have been Christians have heard many times that God loves us and cherishes us as God's beloved - yet how many of us have really believed this? How many of us slow down and take time for this experience to penetrate the depths of our being? How many of us have faith that God only loves our good deeds, our self sacrifices, our moments of prayer or devotion? ....It may be that the essential difference between Jesus and others is that when he hears God call him 'Beloved' he doesn't question it: he simply believes it. He recieves God's name of love before he has done any great works - before he has performed healings, before speaking insights, before undergoing any sacrifices....Having received this love from God, he is able to tolerate the doubts, false accusations, curses and even hatred poured out at him - because deep within his heart he knows and trusts the love that God offers him. He knows within the marrow of his bones that he is beloved by God and that is the deeper truth of his identity. Who would we be if we lived with the same knowledge?".

Holiday

So we're into our second post-holiday week and life is straining to press back in but we're on the defensive, one weapon we armed ourselves with was taking the time to talk about what we'd learnt from our week at Greenhill.

1. Family are important - sounds obvious but the reality of this grew and so did our realisation that over the last two years we'd gone from visiting too much and not having enough time for us, to becoming reclusive. As Mr Flower put it 'sometimes our family infuriate me but I realise how much I love and miss them'. Working with that infuriation doesn't happen by refusing to engage with it.

2. Holidays are important - I don't think I ever got how being in a different location can take you out of habits and thought paterns so effectively, we're going to do it more.

3. That I'm not who I thought I was - it's easy to get annoyed with others pigeon holing us but sometimes we're our own worst restraint. Sometimes we find ourselves in new boxes too - apparently I'm naughty, who's have guessed ;-O!!

4. That it's really easy to let work crowd life out - we need to be so much more that just what we achieve at work, we need to celebrate that but also have room to find other us's!

5. That it's really important to 'mark our days' - I preached on this a while back and hold it as so important, this week just reinforced that. Each day is a precious gift and is to be lived in full whether that's the pain and misery or joy and celebration. When we reach important achievements either in who we are or what we do it's important to mark that. I really thank my family for instilling a sense of excitement and celebration in me and Uncle and Auntie Flower played a big part in that along with Mum, for it's in these moments that we experience the fullness of what life should be and total love. Life is dull and lacking wonder without these gifts. I guess it's kind of finding the sacred in the ordinary too and if our faith means anything we should be doing that.

There were other things too like how amazing nature is, how God blesses us throught the people we meet, how my brother has the best ability to laugh at himself and how I can learn from that, how beautiful and fragile my Mum is, how we're made to be in community and how much love can be so strong that it hurts...I've still got loads to learn, the lessons are percolating and they're more weapons against the wrong agenda life seduces us into.

Another weapon will be seeing some photos and I can't wait!

Sick as a dog!

Well, I've been wrestling with a virus for about 4 days now and last night it won, meaning I'm at home going insane today. I haven't even got the heart to try daytime tv (Neighbours not withstanding!) and if I try to stand up and do anything my body tries to make me hit the deck. I have sought solace (sniff) in books and now my lovely blog.

It's one way to ward of the anxiety that I won't be better for this weeks team retreat and as Alina and I have planned an awesome (hopefully) prayer time I really want to go. We've got Mark Berry coming to talk to us on Friday and really looking to my volunteer time, it's the only time during term I see them. So am stuffing cookies I the hope that chocolate power might work and I'll bounce back tomorrow.

St George's Day

It was a strange day...I saw some lovely words on maybe.org.uk site from a poem about England (it's now been taken down and am trying to find out what it was) and it echoed the passion I feel about this small but perfectly formed island with it's beauty from tropical beaches (Cornwall) to snowy peaks (I think the Malverns qualify as these) and you can so see why Elgar and Worthworth and all the artisans have been inspired down the years.

It is an incredible place to live but then as I was walking home from work last night amidst the St George's bedecked revellers I heard what I mistook to be 'Give Me Oil in My Lamp' being bellowed from The Heights pub. Knowing the odd pint of beer and spiritual moments to be happy drinking partners, my heart was naively touched until I got closer and realised it was not "Sing Hosana" but "No surrender, no surrender, no surrender to the IRA" the darkness of their joy made me shiver and mourn how far England, our England had still to come.

Art Attack

No not anything to do with the First Aid training we had on the first day back at work but a challenging work of art featured on Easter Day's order of service, from the church at Morebattle.



Mary Magdalene by Gian Girolamo Savoldo

"There's something wrong here, even though it takes some looking to find it. The inconsistancy is at the left edge of the painting, at the horizon. Looking there, we see the glow of the sunrise in the east. And of course the sun should rise in the east but what should not happen is the flood of bright, white light that strikes Mary's shimmering robe from the right. Savoldo knows enough about painting to avoid such a mistake. And in this case, the discrepancy is not a mistake at all. The light that shines upon Mary more intensely than the sun is meant to announce the presence of the risen, glorified Messiah. The moment shown here may be the moment when He calls her by name, and she recognises her Lord. But there's something else interesting that Savoldo hs done with Mary's glance. When you view the painting hanging on a wall, it's impossible to escape the realisation that Mary is glancing directly at the spot occupied by the viewer. Then you realise that Savoldo has issued you a challenge. He implicitly asks you whether Jesus so fully inhabits your life that someone would see Him in you, and hear in your witness a call as powerful and important as if the Creator of the universe had called them by name."

Happy holidays!

Well, I am off for a weeks holiday in the middle of nowhere at the foot of the cheviot hills, Scotland (as above). I'm excited for so many reasons!

It seems forever since Mr Flower and I had any decent time away together, it's a beautiful and luxurious house complete with chef and is all a gift from Uncle and Auntie Flower! Most of the family are going to be there including the in-laws, it's close enough to visit Edinburgh and Glasgow and friends and family there, plus I'm aiming to finally get to Lindisfarne after 10 years of driving up and down that coast with longing!!

More than any of that I'm looking forward to some space and time just to be. Creation always has a lot to teach and so I'm looking forward to getting out in the the middle of it as a hungry student. And if the weather report are right we're game on for some sunny days and therefore plenty of walking.

We're also set for yoga, painting, fishing, writing, guitar playing, reading, ceidhli dancing, eating, drinking and merry-making...life is good. (Just realised rather sadly, that I will miss the opportunity to blog - definitely time to get away!)

oooh oooh!

Just having a trawl around the blogosphere when I rediscovered e-mergent kiwi...he has this great post about the brilliant Easter Journey they do at their church in NZ...photos all over Flickr really quality work. But read his post which has this amazingly clever quote from Tom Wright (oh and I do want to do more than knock the church, i love it but it does need a good buffet sometimes!).

...Tom Wright, who’s a well known Christian leader and Biblical scholar says this "The Word became flesh, but the Church has turned the flesh back into words."

I see what he did there and I see what we (the church) did there! Ties into Jonny Baker's 'Throwing a hand grenade into the fruitbowl' seminar deconstructing the sermon, that I saw him give at Greenbelt, transcript on his blog.

Owch!

So Sunday was Palm sunday and along with my cross and a quick procession around the church, much to the amusement of local dog walkers, we explored the symbolism of the triumphal entry and how amidst the celebrations Jesus stops to weep for the future of Jerusalem...for the destruction it would see (over a million people are thought to have been killed in the following massacre) and for the warning God had tried to give but that they had not heard.

Then a bit of synchronicity, I am reading The Irrisistable Revolution by Shane Claiborne and he echoes that part of the story when Jesus says even if his disciples were quiet, creation would call out...

"Christianity has often offered little to the world, other than the hope things will be better in heaven. The Scriptures say that the entire creation groans for liberation, and the echoes of that groaning can be heard in everything from hip hop to Hollywood. There is a pervasive sensethat things are not right in the world, and the gentle suggestion that maybe they don't have to stay that way...Global initiatives like Live8 and the ONE campaign have gathered ecclectice groups of celebrities and pop stars under slogans like "Make Poverty History". But most Christian artists and preachers have remained strangely distant from human suffering offering the world eternal assurance over prophetic imagination. Perhaps it should not surprise us then that Jesus says that if the Christians remain silent, then the rocks will cry out...or the rock stars, I guess".

Shane is seeking to incarnate the prophetic imagination through life in a community called The Simple Way in Philedelphia, his call is beautiful and painfully challenging...it's not an easy book but open us up to all kinds of opportunities and a radically bigger picture of the kingdom.

Yes, it's a good friday.

I recently visited Maggi Dawn's blog where she was discussing the age old question of 'good' friday,

"Why is it called Good Friday?" asked my son. "It's not good at all,
it's really bad."

The shops are full of eggs and chickens and sunshine and cheer. But
Good Friday and Holy Saturday are the most sombre days in the whole
Church calendar, recalling the death and disappearance of God. Not
much there to celebrate or feel happy about.

For those who enjoy a degree of certainty in their faith, maybe Good
Friday and Holy Saturday don't really "bite" - they are more about
anticipation than devastation. But those of us who live with a
fragmented faith, a faith that has had too many holes punctured in it,
too much damage ever to recover a naive certainty, there is something
reassuring about the rise and fall of the Church seasons. It's a relief
to be honest, to acknowledge the disappearance of God and the uncertainty of the outcome.

I recently talked myself into an empty hole trying to explain why we call it "Good Friday" in one sentence, in a year 8 RS lesson. In fact so much of what we believe started to sound bonkers when reduced down to facts/simple descriptions and as guilty as I may have felt for not having nice, off-pat answers for these things, feeling I was down an empty hole seemed appropriate, after all the empty hole is what easter is all about.

And I love it, the church annually acknowledging the desperation of faith. I love to think of the sheer terror, disbelief, confusion, embarrassment, the disciples must have felt, for we feel these things all the time but rarely admit to them. The darkness of Good Friday allows a place to see the darkness in us, allows a sacred space for our wonderings to 'just be', to me it's a freeze-frame in our faith journey.

Coming at the end of Spring it is a reminder of all those dark days we have just endured. Days which make the longed for spring brighter and more full of hope but days which need to be endured for both nature and us to be complete.

Maybe it's a British thing but I think we're not very good at the negative side of the emotional spectrum, not that these things are to be wallowed in but if there is a 'time for every season under heaven', then to deny these feelings seems wrong to me. Therefore, Good Friday is precious because, in the same way that Job gives us permission to be angry at God, Good Friday allows us to ask if we too are forsaken, all the while knowing we are the ones who turn from the cross.

Mad March

Yes King you are quite correct my initial burst of enthusiasm for all that was possible blogwise quickly faded with one of the madest months in my LCET history (and there have been quite a few to choose from).

But it's also been one of the best and a complete buzz as I look back on it, from here in dayoffinlieuland.

The picture above is our Easter Journey project, a kind of stations of the cross idea taking 8 themes from the passion story and letting young people reflect on how those themes impact their lives. We had an art workshop to produce the stuff which was brilliant and the posters have been up in 7 of Luton's high schools.

It's hard to know what, if any, impact they've had. As I was putting the first one up in South Luton High School two members of staff said "they won't last more than five minutes" but going to collect them on Friday saw a minor miracle with the whole set still in tact! I did 3 lessons with year 8's at Ashcroft based on the 8 themes and allowing them to do their own reflection on choices, they had real trouble engaging with it despite the sheer number of decisions they have to make on a daily basis. It just reminds me how little connection young people seem to feel to their own lives/experiences and sadly how much that means they miss out on.See them all on flickr.com, here's the link

http://www.flickr.com/photos/7453502@N02/sets/72157600017838359/

We also took a group of 12 kids away on Odyssey, a residential to explore faith and we had a brilliant time. We used a load of material from Jenny Baker's "Tune In, Chill Out" which I'd recommend for anyone involved with young people. It was a great time of exploration, healing and community...valued by all of us there.

Then Friday saw our annual Commitment Service where those young people we've been working with get the opportunity to commit/recommit to God or to going on a journey towards him. This year it was extra special as our new basement chapel was opened for the event and although it's not quite finished it worked really well and will be an awesome space to have. We are just so blessed in the work and it's such an honour to be along for the ride.

The next few months are set to get even crazier as we move to launch both a national self harm charity and schoolswork.co.uk - a network for all Christian Youthworkers who go into schools. Thank goodness we're not trying to do any of this in our own strength!!

Excitement!!

I have finally yielded to the power of the firefox - bold and itallic fonts are mine!
Today the formatting, tomorrow the world mwha,ha haaaaa!!!

More challenging words...

"Everything that God created is potentially holy,
and our task as humans is to find that holiness in
seemingly unholy situations. When we can do this,
we will have learned to nurture our souls."

Rabbi Harold Kushner



'When we can do this'....(she says longingly).

Today I've mostly been eating...

Pagans! And very tasty they are too!! There's one on top of my diary!



PagEn's actually and they're cinamon rolls from IKEA provided by the lovely Stockings. How can we survive without the shop that brings us pagens and Skumm (sp? Can't remember!) - or in swedish 'Sweets'?!

Bob

When walking out in the snow earlier I was accompanied over the allotments by a little robin, flying from bough to bough keeping up with me...then as I got to the gate he flitted as quickly as he had fluttered into my wanderings.

I decided the robin is a perfect symbol for those people who do just that, appear and bring such joy, vibrance and companionship to your life but who then cease to be a part of it. I can think of so many 'friends' like this, who I am desperate to hold onto but have flown ahead into life - either theirs or mine.

I guess we really should let them go to brighten up someone else's journey, looking out for others who are with us for longer or at that time (something which is hard enough to do in and of itself) and just keep walking the path once brightened by their appearance.

Snow in Wing

It's been a heavenly day in the village today...white and magical. All quiet - hardly any of the neighbours left for work and the usual thunderous busses were absent at school time. The only sound was excitement from a steady stream of bundled up kids off to sledge and snowball. And I have joyfully passed the day watching all manner of busy birds feeding in the garden and enjoying an upstairs view of bounding dogs rejoicing over the scents in the park.

I finally got out for a walk at about 3ish and although the thaw had begun it was brilliant..still crunching underfoot, a kind of kaleidoscope effect on everything you looked at owing to the sun bouncing off every white surface.

As I walked I was mulling over a passage for a service I'm doing in a few weeks ...the transfiguration...where Jesus meets the prophets on a mountain. And where, so caught up in the spectacle, Peter the disciple asks if he should build three shelters for the holy men.

One commentator I read said we shouldn't get bogged down with this it was just a throw away remark but as I walked past a snowman with this in mind I wondered if we could learn something about man's need for permanence, need to build and mark out a place or moment or happening.

Snowmen, sandcastles, cairns, castles and careers we seem to need to say 'we are here'. I can't decide if we should take a tip from the Buddhists and say stop always thinking about the future, just 'be in the moment'. Afterall Peter is so keen to build, to think about the next stage, keen to be doing the right thing, wanting to take the right place within it all, he almost misses the action and the point. (As indeed we see in gethsemane and after the crucifixion).

If we took a more temporary approach, tried to see things from a view of one just passing through would we be better or worse at looking after our world and all it's inhabitants?

Or is it that we want to celebrate life, to say this is amazing and I am in the middle of it, I experienced this?

Either way it seems our focus isn't really on the snow/sand/God itself, what more would we get if we could leave ourselves out of the equation entirely, what else would we see/hear/feel?

Maybe nothing...maybe something, however transient. Thoughts?

(Found this great photo of a girl playing in snow in Wing! (Actually from 2005 but who's counting). It's by a village resident David Schweinsberg - Flickr is fab. So is his photostream.)

Food for eating.

I am a HUGE fan of Waitrose...it's got to be the most ethical supermarket (if that's not a total oxymoron) and it certainly has some fabulous produce, producers and a good take on provenance. Not to mention it's kept both my mother and brother off the streets, for which two communities, at least, are very grateful.

However, one of the best thing to come out of the hallowed portals of 'the mighty W' (as we fondly refer to it) is their freebie magazine 'Seasons'. With fewer so called 'advertorials' than other supermarket booklets it is crammed full of recipes and I've had great fun working my way through them over the last year.

Sausage and Chesnut Caserole, Blueberry and Almond Sponge Cake, Butternut Squash, Sage and Goats Cheese Risotto have all been particular favourites but last night we reached new culinary heights with Smoked Salmon, Pea and Wasabi Linguine. I have only one things to say. Try it!

Instructions:

Add 400g Waitrose Linguine to a pan of boiling water. Cook for 5 minutes, then add 100g frozen Waitrose Petits Pois and cook for a further 2 minutes. Drain the pasta and peas. Whisk 300ml half-fat crème fraîche and 1-2 tbsp Yutaka Japanese Wasabi Paste together in the pasta pan and return it to the heat. Add a 170g pack Waitrose Scottish Smoked Salmon Trimmings and the drained pasta and petits pois. Toss together until the salmon is opaque. Serve immediately with a crisp green salad and lemon wedges to squeeze over.

Food for thought

I have a problem with this book, it has one of the greatest opening paragraphs I've ever read...










'He stands at the glass looking out. The city spreads below
him, blanketed in foggy slumber. Low pressure. Clouds roll
over the hills, seeping out of cracks and crevices as if the
geography itself was sending smoke signals'.

Geography sending smoke signals ...how cool is that metaphor?!

But in my experience the title is a complete lie...it won't save your life, in fact it's likely to reduce your days. Why? the wretched front cover...it's all embossed and tactile, fabulous glossy colours it's so goo you could eat it. Everytime I pick it up I'm left screaming for krispy kremes. Not good for the waistline, cholesterol level, skin should I go on?

The book however, is great for the brain and imagination ... once you get inside the front cover!