The poetic version

You're by Sylvia Plath

Clownlike, happiest on your hands
Feet to the stars, and moon-skulled
Gilled like a fish. A common-sense
Thumbs-down on the dodo's mode.
Wrapped up in yourself like a spool,
Trawling your dark as owls do.
Mute as a turnip from the Fourth
Of July to All Fool's Day,
O high-riser, my little loaf.

Vague as fog and looked for like mail.
Father off than Australia.
Bent-backed Atlas, our traveled prawn.
Snug as a bud at home
Like a sprat in a pickle jug.
A creel of eels, all ripples.
Jumpy as a Mexican bean.
Right, like a well-done sum.
A clean slate, with your own face on.

Today's the day...

that our little Sprout is due. But I don't think he or she has any intention of arriving just yet.

Talking to Mum earlier we were reflecting on how quickly you forget the experience of pregnancy and although several people have asked if I was keeping a journal I've found it really hard to commit any thoughts about the process to paper.

In some ways I've been unwillingly superstitious after miscarrying last time, not wanting to create anything that may out-last this baby but recently I've come to a place where I think I can accept the pregnancy for what it is as a complete experience in and of itself now, before I even get onto thinking about life with my child.

I've been so well, a tiny bit of nausea and overwhelming tierdness early on but nothing more than that. In the last weeks I have the trade mark swollen ankles and am starting to feel like I am shrinking or at least am now as wide as I am tall.

I have loved the timetable that Sprout has kept, springing to life each night as my head touches the pillow and how it's striking a flamenco pose - one had by its head beating my bladder and two feet stamping by my ribs - and dancing earned it the name Ernest Fandango.

I have loved everyone's hopes, dreams and opinions on this child, how my half brothers and sisters named it Sedgley (?!) in a moment of familial madness and are almost bursting for it's arrival.

Reading up about it's development; a heart as tiny as a poppy seed beating at 6 weeks, seeing it yawn during a scan and taking turns to poke each other through my stomach.

It aches to think of those who couldn't wait on this earth to meet this new member of the family and intrigues me to see in what ways this child will carry their story on.

My waist measurement is 42 inches, I have no idea what I weigh. My hair and skin have been in amazing condition throughout, with no stretchmarks! I've been swimming every week, walking most days of maternity leave. Haven't craved anything to the point of having to have it but crisps, MacDonald's (yea gads), coca cola, sherry and everything I shouldn't eat (blue cheese, smoked salmon etc) have seemed awfully appealing. I went off coffee, tea and wine for two thirds of the ride but am now happily imbibing all three - in moderation of course.

Wierdest experience, heightened sense of smell. I swear I could have worked for the drugs squad in my first trimester, it was the most bizarre thing and not always pleasant

Will I miss life with a bump? Definitely. I'm wondering whether it will feel lonely for a while without an on-board friend.

Am I ready to give birth? Nature is a wonderful thing getting you to just that point of being so uncomfortable that you're ready to take delivery of this miraculous package.

Looks like I'm not alone...

As I've often said I love Simply Simon blog, always wisdom and solace and far better writing than I could ever hope to achieve! He posted this tonight...

just an angel

It’s the day before the day before Christmas, and it’s all ho-hum. To be honest, I feel less prepared for this celebration of Christ’s birth than I have for a long time. The anticipation that’s meant to mark the Advent season has drifted by, unnoticed. Busyness, weariness, lack of intention … despite my pastor’s best efforts to prepare me for the wonder of Incarnation, I’ve been a lousy congregant. Sorry Carolyn.

But then, as I walked home from work this afternoon, I noticed something. In the window of one of the old terrace homes that line my street is a Christmas tree. Nothing unusual about that; such things are a standard feature in house after house--elaborately decorated, colour coordinated, with fairy lights perfectly balanced top to bottom, left to right.

This one is different though. Awkward looking, slanted, no lights and empty apart from one porcelain angel dangling off centre, in solitude. I stared for a moment. It was odd, yet beautiful: no tinsel, no baubles, no flashing lights, just one off-centred angel, alone.

One of the most important books of the late 90s for me was Dale Allison’s The Silence of Angels. It was significant because it helped me to articulate what I had long intuited: that rapid advancements in technology and science have sometimes dulled our ability to discern transcendence and experience wonder in the everyday. Amidst the clutter and rationality of our demystified and explained lives, we’ve silenced the angels.

According to Allison, technological development has (i) eradicated silence, (ii) defeated any concept of darkness, and (iii) proliferated visual stimuli in every corner of our lives. Consequently, we’re losing the ability to hear, to see or to experience transcendence in the ordinariness of our days.

As I sit here at the window, the night before the night before Christmas, I can see a sparrow sifting through the mulch on my garden. From there it flies up into the shrub that fronts our house, with the twilight sky behind it. One bird, one angel, one child: the ho-hum is perhaps more sacred than I thought.

Week 35

Auntie Flower pointed out to me that this year I am living my own advent ... we are in our 36th week of pregnancy which amongst other things may developmentally mean

"he/she now weighs about 5.25 pounds/ 2.4 kilograms and measures approximately 18 inches/ 45 centimetres from head to toe. His/her elbow, foot or head may protrude from your stomach when he stretches and squirms about. (Sure does!) Soon, as the wall of your uterus and your abdomen stretch thinner and let in more light, your baby will begin to develop daily activity cycles.

This week, your little one is now sporting fingernails and has a fully developed pair of kidneys. His liver can also process some waste products.

There's much less amniotic fluid and much more baby in your uterus, which has expanded to a thousand times its original size".

What a miracle happening inside of me and yet has this mystery placed a different spin on the advent story for me? Truth is I don't know an advent when I've had a more church-less, God-less experience. Actually between work, visiting and hosting friends, preaching elsewhere and just being exhausted by life that's pretty much been my year. I certainly haven't set foot inside All Saints since October and the thought of this afternoons Christingle is really exciting (not least because it's a service I love).

At the beginning of advent our vicar sent out this challenge...

"Advent is a time of preparation, of recognising the signs of our failures and setting our lives back on course as we prepare to celebrate the birthday of our brother Jesus.

Bill Hybels famously said: ‘The local church is the hope of the world.’ Our Anglican churches attract only 1% of the population on an average Sunday (maybe 3% if all the Christian churches are lumped together).

Advent is also about waking up to the signs of the times. Jesus went on at length about this. The signs seem to be that people see our ‘churches’ as hopeless rather than a source of hope.

So perhaps the times have arrived for us to set our churches back on course. (church = you and me, the church communities and how we express our faith when we are together and when we are ‘in the world’). The big question is ‘how?’

Do we know what are goals are? Are we just trying to survive? That doesn’t seem to me to be what Jesus meant when he commissioned us to go and make disciples of all nations.

Imagine this: If we as Christians were arriving in our villages for the first time this December 2008 what would we do and how would we be ‘church?"

I haven't really given much time to this brilliant question but tonight I think Jesus would be less interested in what we did and more in how we did it. How we love each other.

My home group leaders have given me calls to let me know their schedule this term even though they knew I couldn't make it, which is great but no one has called to see how or where I am which makes me a little sad. Not being in church regularly is one of my failures this year, (going back to Derek's opening statement) back in January I committed to being there at least once a month to enable me to someway be connected to the life of what happens there and to the wonderful people walking this journey together. That is my advent challenge, a day and a half is left and I want to think about what our church looks like and where I am in the picture, what I can give (and I don't just mean by doing more but by being more creative with what I do maybe). I certainly don't want to be just a consumer. How could I have handled my absence better, would it have been possible to keep in touch more? If I couldn't be there in body what about in spirit - have I been praying for all that happens there?

I wonder in answer to that challenge if we get better at looking after the church we have maybe that will be the best way to have a useful church for the future.

I pray in the services that I go to over the next two days that the lessons I need to learn will be really clear, in the carols, readings and community. At this point in time the final verse of In the Bleak Mid Winter (my favourite carol) seem really appropriate... and a great way to get back on course.

What can I give Him poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd I would bring a lamb.
If I were a wise man I would do my part.
Yet what can I give him?
Give my heart.

See Me

Last week saw the opening of LCET's latest art exhibition and if the chaos on the day before was anything to go by it's just as well they only happen every couple of years!!

The finished gallery - a former estate agents on the high street - was awesome though and it got some really good press coverage and more importantly about 300 (or more) visitors through the door.

The work - photos, instalations and audio - was all the work of around 9 kids we work with, not to mention the amazing Carter and Turner. Hearing the experiences of young people is always powerful, it was a great way to honour their request to be seen and as there was such great feed back from Social services hopefully this will improve their experience of the whole system.

Nice work LCET!

Maternity leave

Well I've been off work for two whole weeks and so far am pretty unable to stay away! Not least because I wanted to help out with the amazing See Me exhibition about children in care and then I foolishly offered to copy 300 cds of The God Man, the song our kids wrote at summer camp. We're sending it out as a Christmas card to our supporters.

It's amazing to see what non-Christian, un-churched kids made of God's story - we gave them the first verse they wrote the rest of the lyrics...pretty cool. It was recorded in our basement, no expense spent, Holy Joely's done a great job though, especially with the tuning!!

The God Man - Joel and the summer camp kids

Current reading.

It's been a phase for allegorical books recently. (Just had to check whether 'allegory 'was the right term, never let it be said my BA(Hons) in English was a waste of time!)

Our team book this term was The Shack which has been touted as a modern classic and called a modern day pilgrims progress. It seems a slightly odd premise for a story about the nature of God and to be honest I would normally give Christian literature a wide birth but this book was strangely compelling.

The story goes...

Mackenzie Allen Philips' youngest daughter, Missy, has been abducted during a family vacation and evidence that she may have been brutally murdered is found in an abandoned shack deep in the Oregon wilderness.
Four years later in the midst of his great sadness, Mack receives a suspicious note, apparently from God, inviting him back to that shack for a weekend. Against Mackenzie Allen Philips' better judgement he arrives at the shack on a wintry afternoon and walks back into his darkest nightmare.

The author does an incredible job of exploring the characteristics of God, putting that into words has to be a real challenge, after all it's often untangible and I guess different for all of us. But here there is something so familiar and beautiful, it really is heart warming but also incredibly challenging. How can you forgive the unforgivable, what kind of life change needs to happen to make that possible?

It leaves you feeling as if you've glimpsed a deeper meaning about this old thing called life. It also debunks a lot of the rubbish that comes with religion and get's straight to the heart of what it's liked to be loved.

I wanted to hate it, I now want to re-read it!

The second book I started last night was called Hind's feet in High Places and was a leaving gift from lovely Gingerkidjoe. Written in the 50's by a palestinian Nun it is the journey of Much-Afraid to find herself as God see's her and to freedom. I haven't got very far and it seems quite old fashioned stylistically, which is taking some getting used to but there's already been some wonderful passages.

This is my favourite to date...

"many a quiet, ordinary, and hidden life, unknown to the world, is a veritable garden in which Love's flowers and fruits have come to such perfection that it is a place of delight where the King of Love Himself walks and rejoices with his friends."

You

You are unique.
There is no one else like you anywhere in the world.
No one can replace you.
Simply because you exist, you are special.

Chew on that.

September's post...or should have been!

I was really excited to come back to work in September and no one was more surprised about that than me. Though I love the project with all my heart have found the last year really tough and have not found answers to questions about my role here.

But I was very excited and so much so I was in early to prepare for the new term and our first meeting as a new team. I'd planned a meeting to start with a prayer exercise about our feelings towards this term, as we were all in very different places, and it made me laugh as I sat at my desk untangling a pile of pipe-cleaners that were to become our mode of expression.

How typical of work at LCET and how lucky am I to be able to 'work' in such a playful way?! It seemed comforting to be sorting out and ordering as my first task, I hope this years experience will be much more like the finished pile, as last years seemed a bit like the former and we're still straightening out the tangle.

Food glorious food...or the longest lunch ever

Caught up with boss, Rg for lunch today.She's going to retake the reigns of the chaplaincy team while I'm off, having handed them to me when she was on maternity leave all very cyclical!

We went to Zza Zza's pizza place in town. It's a nice place that always scares me slightly since I saw the colour of the chefs once white apron and because one minute you see him making dough the next smoking a fag outside. But I have never actually been ill, despite feeling a bit queezy after most lunches!

We ordered pizza and once it came both thought it was overly salty, so plucked up courage to throw off our niceness and send it back. There was some story about two of the workers having salted the dough (too many or not enough cooks???) and after another 20 minutes more pizza arrived, still somewhat highly seasoned! We decided just to eat it as time was at a premium and when offered a free drink we accepted gratefully.

The pizza is huge and I had about a third unfinished and the waitress offered to package it up for me to go. She took it through to the kitchen and as she turned to get a box the chef threw it away! That would have been fine except that he then insisted on making me a new one...by this time 2 o'clock had been and gone and it was beginning to look unlikely that we'd ever get back to the office but it was such a nice gesture and his refusal to take no for an answer meant we spent a further, somewhat bemused 20 minutes waiting for it.

Thankfully the fun factor when it arrived made up for it...my own heart shaped pizza, charmers those Italians! And it was a good tale to tell at the office, not to mention the workers appreciating the food!

Relearning (again) intimacy with God...

Just back from 3 weeks off and really aware that I shut down a bit during that time, not least because of grief (having lost our wonderful Nan and Grandma in the same week), exhaustion (completion of another school year and summer camp)and a degree of uncertainty (finding myself pregnant again after a miscarriage just a month and a half before).

I was also berating myself from having switched off from God too, not having been to church since heaven knows when (not that heaven's keeping a record)not reading or feeling particularly open to things spiritual then I read an interesting post from Simply Simon quoting an old Christianity Today article by Eugene Peterson and I think it really rings true for me and my good evangelical background...

Interviewer: "Many people assume that spirituality is about becoming emotionally intimate with God".

"That’s a naive view of spirituality. What we’re talking about is the Christian life. It’s following Jesus. Spirituality is no different from what we’ve been doing for two thousand years just by going to church and receiving the sacraments, being baptized, learning to pray, and reading Scriptures rightly. It’s just ordinary stuff.

This promise of intimacy is both right and wrong. There is an intimacy with God, but it’s like any other intimacy; it’s part of the fabric of your life. In marriage you don’t feel intimate most of the time. Nor with a friend. Intimacy isn’t primarily a mystical emotion. It’s a way of life, a life of openness, honesty, a certain transparency".

I think it's in those moments of shutting down that we're sometime most aware of God (maybe in hind sight)as the fabric of our lives, when we're fully living each moment or feeling most alive we can forget that weft and warp, as that's when we're busy embroidering our pattern on top.

We're "having a baby"!

I'm not sure why that phrase is in my head in a scratchy northern accent a la Jonny Vegas but I'm sure there's an old comedy sketch burried in my brain somewhere!! Answers on a postcard to...

But a joke this is not, we are now gloriously 17 weeks pregnant and our little foetus is as big as an avocado!!

The great news - in the light of my previous miscarriage and losing our two remaining grandparents - has been really special but understandably maybe it's taken ages to sink in. Hearing it's heart beat at my last doctors appointment made it all a little more real, as did realising that we're already heading to half way through the pregnancy - scary!!

Ever since that appointment I've had the lyrics of the Iona song "No Heart Beats Like Your Heart" in my head, I love to think that we're all - past, present and future - part of God's great heart beat!

"No heart beats like Your heart keeping me in time
No hand as warm as Your hand holding onto mine
No eyes can see through me
No smile ever drew me like Yours

No voice like Your voice can calm my fears
And no prayers like Your prayers can move me to tears
And no arm around me
Can fully surround me like Yours"

Goodbye Nan

One of the brightest lights in my life went out last night. After almost a week of struggling, Nan finally passed away as Dad read the Psalms to her.

As I wandered round the dark house I imagined her flying through the nights sky, breaking off bits of stars as though they were glacier mints and laughing at the sheer wonder of it all...she was always one for life, even in death it transpires.

I can't even begin to contemplate what life will be like without her, except that I know she'll always be a part of it because she dwells so richly in us...all that life and light cannot be put out.

Some people may think this poem is twee, I like it. God bless you Nan.

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.

Food, Frivolity and Fun

Mr Flower and Myself aren't really ones for television, except maybe with a curry and beer at the end of a really hard day but recently we've stumbled on a totally engrossing programme that combines shows such as Ready Steady Cook, I'm a Celebrity, the 1900 House and Supersize Me.

"The Supersizers Go..." see's (lovely)Restaurant critic, Giles Coren and writer and performer Sue Perkins try the food of different periods whilst emersed in that age with everything from wigs to clothes and work to passtimes.

This week saw them head for "Restoration Britain in the 1660s, a time of fire and plague. They both don wigs, with Giles in tight breeches and Sue in wide skirts. They snack on coxcombs, eel pie and copious amounts of small beer".

It's fascinating to view our gastronomic and cultural history so playfully bought to life. Watching Coren and Perkins trying some of the most gross looking dishes is hysterical; kind of repulsive and riveting at the same time.

Having done Victoriana, and the 17th Century they head for the 70's on Tuesday 10 June 9:00pm - 10:00pm onBBC2.

A slice of heaven on earth

As the rain held off this weekend and we were actually at home, it meant we were able to get some of the much needed weeding and feeding done in the garden. It's such an exciting time with the plants growing practically as you watch and all the time you spend out there being rewarded with another bloom, a little more colour, height and reach. Ordering the jumble of ever expanding stems and leaves also does something to the soul, making space, reconnecting to creation and the creator. I love this time of year, it's already looking great and it's not even summer yet.

Trawling through my favourite blogs earlier this evening I came across this poem on Simply Simon

Dear God,
let us prepare for winter.
The sun has turned away from us
and the nest of summer hangs broken in a tree.
Life slips through our fingers
and, as darkness gathers, our hands grow cold.
It is time to go inside.
It is time for reflection and resonance.
It is time for contemplation.
Let us go inside.
Amen

Michael Leunig, A Common Prayer, Collins Dove, 1990.

In the first instance it seemed sad that just as we're rejoicing in coming outdoors and rediscovering the healing of sun on skin and life-giving breezes others are preparing to wrap up and put away...only fair though I guess and necessary for the amazing diversity of our planet.

Dear God,
let us prepare for summer.
The sun has turned towards us
and the nest of summer is woven in a tree.
Life grasps at our fingers
and, as light increases, our hands grow warm.
It is time to go outside.
It is time for activity and awareness.
It is time for exploration.
Let us go outside.
Amen

I have a good friend...

...called Amy and every time I wash my face I think of her! Why? Well it's all because of a great new face wash I found.

Amie (Ok, so it's spelt different)is an all natural skin care range and as well as using yummy floral ingredients and essential oils, it's free from parabens, animal extracts or any ingredients of genetically modified origin.The packaging is also 100% recyclable and they're made locally in the UK.And if all that seems too good to be true it gets even better as it's sold on the high street for really competitive prices, more mainstream than top-end organic.

In fact the only problem I had with these products is their slogan "purely for young skin", it left me in quite a dilemma as I'm not sure if thirty-something counts as 'young'. And I wondered what could go wrong if you used it when you were outside that ambiguous age bracket? Then on a recent shopping trip to my beloved Waitrose, I overheard an assistant telling a customer how the stores own-brand "baby's bottom cream" had sold out nationally after a beauty journal recommended it as a face moisturiser! With this in mind I decided my visage could cope with something for the teen market and am now slapping it on, with great results.

At the beginning of the year I decided to consciously try to cut back on synthetics and chemicals such as parabens after reading Janey Lee Grace's Imperfectly Natural Woman. She writes "the Ecologist listed all the common ingredients in many skin care products including: dimethicone,ethylhexyl salicylate, disodium EDTA, ethylparaben, propylparaben preservatives and parfum. All of the above can cause skin irritation; some have hormone disrupting potential, alter skin structure and allow cheminals to penetrate the blood stream and, in the case of the preservatives, have been known to mimic oestogen and been linked to breast cancer". Such information may be from largely small scale investigations but I decided I have enough problems with my own hormones thanks and I'd rather not risk it! Besides new products that are full of goodies at great prices, like Amie and Daniel Galvin Junior Hair Products, means there's no need.

Inspired to iron!!

Gunilla Norris might have been illuminating the holier aspects of housework to me recently but a new purchase has actually inspired me 'to iron'.

Sad it may be but I would like to take a few moments to wax lyrical about the Tefal Express Steam Generator Iron! Yes they are a piggy bank job at about 6 times more expensive than a normal iron BUT they get the ironing done about 6 times faster. It really is incredible, you only have to iron things on one side and both sides get done, bedding and tea towels can be folded up and just have their top surface done and they're pressed right through.

Mum's had one for ages and the cost had really put us off but it was every penny well spent...I love ironing (almost)!!

Long in the tooth?

I noticed recently Mr Flower and I have both taken to sitting down on the edge of the bath whilst cleaning our teeth, does this mean we're taking a more chilled approach to life or we're just getting old?

Washing on the line

Washing on the line 3
Originally uploaded by redhairedpixie

Hanging Out the Clothes - Gunilla Norris

As I hang up the clothes let me think
about what it means to be "on the line"
It may not be about courage or bravery
or intention. It may not be about social action,
good works or justice. It may be
something before that, something much earlier
more simple and humbling.

It may just be clinging for dear life.

I pin these wet clothes to the line...
an image of joining, of clinging to something.
If I really know that You are my lifeline
then to cling to You is my primary business.

There are so many spiritual traps
if i am the one who puts me on the line.
Instead, let me be simpler, let me just cling to You.

Then all other lines in my life fall in place:
the line of duty, the line of business
the line of poetry, the firing line.
Please help me to cling so tenaciously
that I find myself in line with You -
aired out and shaken.

Routine

It's been a disquieting start to 2008, which is probably why I haven't blogged till now. After a period of much doing, relating, change and talking it's seemed necessary just to stop, listen, watch and feel.

It's been interesting to notice what things bring peace, comfort and joy and the routine of 'being home' is definitely one of those. Wicked et al bought me the book of the same name for my birthday. It's full of meditations on daily chores and fits right in with my life-long quest to find God in the ordinary.

Today it was windy and bright enough to put washing on the line and have it really dry, the breath of fresh air that the laundry's getting feels like a breath of fresh air for life and I'm starting to breathe it in.

Spring has sprung

Anemone blanda
Originally uploaded by multiflora

Last Easter, Auntie Flower gave us a little pink basket containing an anemone blanda, it was very pretty and in due course I popped it under the holly tree in the garden and forgot about it.

They are now all over the this shallow and somewhat problematic end bed and are the sweetest flowers ever! In the sun they stretch out their petals and tip their faces to the sun, as the light fades or when rain comes they fold them self up tight to weather the storm.

Ok, Ok... I hear ya!

The following comment by Tom made me laugh so much I decided it deserved a space of it's own and would maybe, along with all the other comments and fears the Royal Society for the Protection of Blogs might be after me, get me blogging again...no promises tho ;-)

Tom: Hello Lillies Blog...

Blog: Hello T-Dog! Whats up?

Tom: Well aren't you lonely and feeling bereft of Lillie's knowledge - I mean she posted nearly every day in December!

Blog: I know, and I was so happy, my page was filled with so many wise words. But now I feel empty and alone.

Tom: I hear she blogs on www.schoolswork.co.uk

Blog: She does?!

Tom: Yes little blog. It appears she may have abandoned you and her loyal readers

Blog: What shall we do Mr Tom

Tom: Only thing we can Mr Blog. Cry and wail until she hears...

Tom & Blog: LLLLLLIIIIIIIILLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE

25 Advent

skin
Originally uploaded by Tasi_(forca)

Extract from Christmas by Sir John Betejamin

And is it true? and is it true?
The most tremendous tale of all,
Seen in a stained-glass window's hue,
A Baby in an ox's stall?
The Maker of the stars and sea
Become a Child on earth for me?

And is it true? For if it is,
No loving fingers tying strings
Around those tissued fripperies,
The sweet and silly Christmas things,
Bath salts and inexpensive scent
And hideous tie so kindly meant.

No love that in a family dwells,
No carolling in frosty air,
Nor all the steeple-shaking bells
Can with this single Truth compare -
That God was Man in Palestine
And lives to-day in Bread and Wine.
___________________________________

Joy to the world!
The Lord has come
let earth receive her king!
let every heart
prepare him room
let heaven and nature sing
let heaven and nature sing
let heaven, heaven and nature sing.

Joy to the world!
The savior reigns
your sweetest songs employ
while field and floods
rocks, hills and plains
repeat the sounding joy
repeat the sounding joy
repeat, repeat the sounding joy

He rules the world!
With truth and grace
and makes the nations prove
the glories of his righteousness
and wonders of his love
and wonders of his love
and wonders, wonders of his love.

Happy Christmas!

24 Advent

So today is set to be the busiest shopping day of the season, forecasters are predicting we could spend 1 million pounds a minute!

Gladly all my shopping - though last minute this year - has been finished and wrapped for a day or so. I'm really pleased with my gifts; ideas came early in the most part, then it was just finding time to buy them and although a lot were on line I was not one of the unlucky one's still waiting for deliveries. But it has made me want to do next year differently, you have highstreet shops and nothing else round here, no arts or crafts, no unique or out of the ordinary so I'm going to be on a mission next year for the clever, the ethical, the artisan, the local and we'll see if that's one resolution that makes it!

Hearing all this financial craziness on the news this morning reminded me of one of my favourite prayers from Doing December Differently...

Ou Father;
which art in Dixons
hallowed be thy games;
thy new releases come,
thy videoing be done
in Nicam as it is in mono;
give us this day our daily emails,
and forgive us for not spending enough,
as we forgive those who spend too little on us;
lead us not into Oxfam,
but deliver us from charitable giving;
for thine is the DVD,
the widescreen and the Game Boy,
for ever and ever
Amen.

23 Advent

Christmas Atmosphere 2006
Originally uploaded by krisdecurtis

Both feeling too exhausted to move. The darkness has settled in early and I'm feeling a certain sadness as the church bells toll and I simply can't summon the energy to go and listen to the 9 lessons and sing the carols that echo the joy and desire to worship in the deepest part of me. But trying to follow the "no" in the hope that tomorrows nativity service will be a yes...

Found this poem by Christine Vial, The Day Before Christmas Eve.

Cradled in the sofa's arms
as the darkness settles in
on this shortest of days

reading a new book
eating satsumas -
their skins unfolding like golden stars
the sweet-sharp pungent scent
drifting among the smoky winter potpourri
the sound of the radio in the kitchen
the rustle of present wrapping from the next room

We have come through together -
closer, though a little scarred -
and create this sense of peace:
fragrant, fragile and transient.

This is the moment of silence
at the top of the wave:
before the phone rings
before the train arrives
before the door is opened
before the barbarian hordes
before the thunder rolls...

20, 21, 22 Advent

It's been a really tough week, as work comes to a close. So often we're aware that holidays, and especially Christmas, are really difficult for the young people we work with and this week brought that home in a number of ways.

One of my most brilliant young people was thrown out of home. It was really painful picking her up from a house fully decorated and primed for the big day but knowing that such a supposed family time had become impossible in that place.

This made me reflect on the Christmas story, bringing home the desperation of Mary and Joseph not being able to find a place to stay and the following flight into Egypt in fear for their lives.

Another young person faces court this week with the likelihood of going into a young offenders institution and yet another of my girls is contemplating the arrival of her baby in February.

It's funny how life gives you opportunities for a new perspective or different understanding.

19 Advent

Feeling a bit that if I don't laugh I might cry today and luckily there have been a couple of really funny takes on the Christmas theme.

Private Eye is brilliant from it's X-mas Factor front cover with Gabriel telling Mary "you're going to be a celebrity".

To a Spoof Conran Christmas diary in which Terrance declares "A crib for a bed? Not when there are so many more stylish and relaxing options." and "I'd put an absolute ban on entertaining shepherds and related farm-workers at this time of year. Lambs, maybe but only if pre-slaughtered. Frankly, shepherds tend to be very grubby, bringing soil and what-not into the house, and Christmas is a time of clean lines and dazzling white surfaces; frankly you don't want the place to end up a tip".

But my favourite joke, as heard on BBC Radio2...

Why is Christmas Day just like any day in the office?

You do all the hard work and the fat guy in the suit takes the credit!

Ho, ho, ho.

18 Advent

Listen carefully, through the stillness:
listen, hear the songs of angels glorious -
ere long it will be heard
that His foot has reached the earth.

God the Lord has opened a door.
Christ of Hope, door of Joy!

Though laid in a manger,
He came from a throne:
on earth though a stranger
in heaven He was known.

Extract from Christmas Liturgy, Northumbria Community

17 Advent

We had our Christmas event with about 20 young people tonight, it was really wonderful. 5 stations looking at the key characters in the story and a great reworked version of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen by GKJ sung in between each station.

1. We were met by Mary who told us what it was like to get the news she was expecting and how she decided to trust God- the question was what were we trusting God with this Christmas? We had to write the answer to this on a bauble and take it to hang on the tree.

2. We were thinking about God with a keynote presentation that looked at why God did what he did through Jesus - we then had to text a response to that and were given the picture above for wallpaper on our mobiles. (The picture was created by one of our girls in Cafe led by Nicki and Emma on God as light of the world, using an LED light and slow exposure! Cool)

3. The shepherds risked everything by leaving their sheep, it cost them a lot to go and visit the baby but nothing held them back - what is holding us back from spending time with Jesus this season? We made a pipecleaner symbol of the answer and left it in the field with the sheep.

4. Joseph showed extreme commitment to Mary, defying all the social conventions of the day and then going on the run - what does God want us to be committed to? We wrote it down on a paper chain link and joined them together as a community.

5. The wise men faithfully followed the star in order to worship the baby king - will we worship? We met a new baby and listened to "Light of the world".

It was really magical and the kids clearly had a good time, it very very sacred and real and having a little baby brought the whole thing to life even his cries!

Light of the world you stepped down into darkness,
opened my eyes let me see.
Beauty that made this heart adore you,
hope of a life spent with you.

Here I am to worship, here I am to bow down
here I am to say that your my God
You're altogether lovely, all together worthy
All together wonderful to me

Kind of all days oh so highly exulted,
glorious in heaven above.
Humbly you came to the earth you created,
all for loves sake became poor.

So here I am to worship, here I am to bow down
here I am to say that your my God
You're altogether lovely, all together worthy
All together wonderful to me

I'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross.
And I'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross.
No I'll never know how much it cost to se my sin upon that cross.

16 Advent

Saying "no" is a harder lesson to learn for some than others but this season gives us plenty of chance to practice!

On Thursday as I scrapped ice off the car windscreen I looked longingly down the street at the frosty white fields and the pink sky that hung heavily over them. All of my being wanted to tramp off for a walk but instead I got into the car drove to Luton and spent an unproductive and frustrating day in the office.

I should have said no to all the "I should do's", I have a job that allows me time out and heaven knows I'm always telling the team "if you are giving out you need time to receive, to fill up again". Re-tellling the story of Thursday morning I went for the walk, found peace, space for my tired brain and re-framing for the last week and a half of term. As it was I short changed both my brain and my soul and came down with a cold the next day and feel sure not listening was one of the reasons why. I may be quite good at refusing offers and invitations from people but I need to listen to the inner "no" and learn to trust it.

As we hear about those seeking the baby Jesus, we are reminded it's a good thing for us to do too. Maybe if I'd have followed the example of the shepherd's last Thursday would have been different. The Christ Child has much to teach us about balance right through his life. The adult Jesus would often retreat from all the "should do's", to leave the crowds - no matter how dependent - to seek out a holy space to be and pray.

I hope this advent will give us ears to hear our "no's" above all the "yes's" and a space to look at creative ways we can follow His example.

15 Advent

I've oft been called a 'slugabed' but why not when it's cold and grey outside. Today's post is dedicated to slowing down ... to a stop and reflecting in a way that can only be done under a duvet!

Take it away Jars of Clay...

14 Advent

Celebrating Christmas with the works Christmas Party tonight, so no thoughtful post... just looking forward to great food, wine, company, secret santa presents and pass the parcel. The hall is shimmering with tinsel and lights and the joy of another year together is palpable!

Bringing love to those who lack it is a huge challenge and one that's really taken a toll on the team this year, we're looking forward to a break even though the work never stops. It's amazing to spend time with such brilliant and broken angels...



This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

13 Advent

I haven't had much time for blog browsing recently but on a quick check of one of my favourites, Simply Simon I found this heart warming tale, enjoy if you're in need of some hope!

Ali and Nathaniel are city kids. Home is on the 12th floor of a high-rise apartment building located in the very heart of Melbourne, Australia’s second largest city.

Though Melbourne’s central business district is home to some 12,000 people, kids like Ali (12) and Nathaniel (10) make up less than 6% of the population. Despite this and the negative clichés that surround city living, they love their neighbourhood.

Granted, getting to know the neighbours isn’t easy. As with any suburban street, there are those who are always up for a chat, and others who barely grunt when greeted. The added challenge for Ali and Nathaniel is their building’s security system. Swipe cards provide each resident access to the common areas at ground level and his or her floor...Meeting neighbours happens most often around the mailboxes, on the lift, or across the laneway at the local café. Building relationships takes time and a high degree of creativity.

Undeterred, Ali and Nathaniel decided Christmas was a great excuse for a special effort. “Let’s make cookies,” Ali said to her dad. “For everyone?” he asked, bemused. With 130 apartments over 18 levels, this was no mean feat... Two days were set aside to make the 390 chocolate chip cookies—just three per apartment. Then Ali scoured the reject shops for cellophane paper, ribbon and gift cards. Meanwhile Nathaniel made arrangements with the building manager to get access to each floor for delivery. Come baking day and time was divided between cooking and hand writing 130 gift cards with the simple message, “Happy Christmas, with love from the kids in 1204.”...

Delivery was the highlight. Accompanied by a grinning building manager and his wife, Ali and Nathaniel made their way to every level of the building, one after the other, carefully hanging their Christmas gifts on each door handle as they went.

In retrospect, this was a simple act, but one with profound consequences. In the days following delivery, Ali and Nathaniel’s mailbox was inundated with thank-you cards and little Christmas gifts. They received invitations to visit neighbours in their apartments, to meet their cats and drink hot chocolates. Conversations opened up with people who previously had never even glanced in their direction. About a month later, Ali and Nathaniel received a letter from the Body Corporate--the building's management committee--thanking them for what they had done and highlighting their act as one of the most significant community making events in the history of the building. In reality, something changed in the building from that day on.

Whether we live in a high-rise in the heart of the city, a three-bedroom brick veneer in the suburbs, or a farmhouse in the country, loving our neighbours has never been more challenging or important. More than ever, it requires intention and creativity. Then again, chocolate chip cookies are not rocket science.

12 Advent

Had an early Christmas present this month, the new Jars of Clay cd winged it's way to me thanks to a very on the ball Gingerkid. It's got some fantastic arrangements on it, a couple of brilliant original tracks and some covers with slightly unfortunate parallels - The Little Drummer Boy which sounds like a James Bond remix.

However, it's great to hear a reinterpretation of those songs which we love but which get a little too familiar, it breathes fresh life into them and I have noticed so many different aspects and thought about things in new ways.

The Little Drummer Boy - despite it's licensed to thrill under tones - really pressed home the aspect of what we have individually that we can offer to God and that at this time of year our own ways of marking the events of that first Christmas are important. Yes it's great when we can share traditions but we can't be made to, we also need to recognise our own rituals or even at times to know when it's time to move on from yesteryear.

I was talking to a fairly recently married couple who felt it impossible not to do the family thing and we were thinking about when that might end and how to sow seeds now for future years. It's not an unusual situation and one that luckily I don't have to struggle with thanks to wonderfully supportive and generous parents. Christmas is a time to be together with family but family looks like different things at different times and individuals needs are important too.

I've tried to be wary of that Christmas competitiveness that can creep in too, I am really behind this year in terms of presents and decorations but I am happy with that, I have have had other more important things to focus on and I enjoy the slow build up. But I say I am happy with this until I talk to someone who has done all their shopping, wrapped it, done the cards and got the tree up, then I feel behind and stressed. How ridiculous, advent is a time to slow down and find your own pace and space, to think about what you bring to the season and how.

I played my drum for Him (pa-rum-pa-pum-pum)
I played my best for Him (pa-rum-pa-pum-pum)
Then, He smiled at me (pa-rum-pa-pum-pum)
Me and my drum

11 Advent

Yesterday we held an RE day for Year 7 exploring Christmas, with 180 kids we had our work cut out. We had an art session exploring hopes and fears of the season, a game deciding on our beliefs about giving and greed and a drama session imagining how the nightly news would have reported it if Jesus had been born in a garage in Luton!

As ever it was a case of out of the mouths of babes (or devils pre horn and tail formation), my favourite comments were...

"I wish Jesus would be born in Luton today!" "Why?" "Because he can do miracles" - it certainly felt like we could have done with a few of those keeping order!!

In answer to "What gift would you take the baby Jesus?", "Cheese" - along with a neat sketch of a holey slice, a little too much festice Wallace and Grommit?

A particular highlight was the drama group which had a Marsh Farm Chav visiting Jesus and bringing a spliff - can't argue with the characterisation!

And one of the liveliest characters (for which read I haven't taken my ritalin today)turned to me and said "I wish I could be a Christian" when I asked him why he said "then I could come to church!" "Oh, you don't have to be a Christian to go to church" I said somewhat taken aback, "Really?" he said wide eyed, "then I'm going to come at Christmas."

Then I read the following ...

In The Challenge of Cultural Influence, John Seel writes: The cultural crisis is first and foremost a church crisis—a crisis of discipleship. It is a scandal that nonbelievers perceive Christians as just another special interest group or market niche rather than those who are drawing on the resources of the kingdom of heaven in order to demonstrate the power of truth lived with overwhelming love.

Our challenge this advent season, almost makes 80 miles, pregnant, on a donkey look easy!

10 Advent

Aunty and Uncle Flower recently headed off to the Lakes for a break and as Mr Flower and I had been there in the not too distant we recommended some attractions to visit. One of those was the spectacular Grizedale Forest and sculpture trail, it really is one of the best of it's kind. The relatives duly took our advice and took advantage of a dry spell to wander one of the trails. Amongst the views and the artistic endeavours they came across the somewhat surprising sign below!

Not something left from our visit but maybe from angels who couldn't know the many meanings of their message! And in a season of thinking about the unexpected, signs, wonder and most of all love it just seemed good to share the serendipitous story that somehow covers all those things...

Love came down at christmas
Love all lovely, love divine
Love was born at christmas
Stars and angels gave the sign

Love will be our token
Love be yours and love be mine
Love from God to all of us love
Love for plea and gift and sign

09 Advent

Mr Flower and I went to a brilliantly packed and chaotic Christingle at All Saints this afternoon, about 150 people filled the church and the majority of those were children.

It was great to remember the symbolism behind the Christingle and I especially loved the four sticks for the seasons and the fruits of creation, something I value so much about living here in the UK. The service also gave us chance to give thanks for the village and to think about how we can make it an even better place to live for future generations.

The highlight of the service though was when the children came and stood in the aisles which make a cross in the centre of the church. Christingles were lit and the church lights turned out. In the flickering candle light we sang Away in a Manger, the children leading the singing. It was all I could do to hold back tears, a very special moment which raised the Christmas spirit for the first time this year!

08 Advent

Waiting

God, so much of faith is waiting

like a pregnant woman
waiting in hope

like a people under siege
holding out till relief comes

like the soul lost in the darkness
unable to see even a glimmer of light
yet stumbling through the night
because somewhere,
out ahead,
day will surely break

God be in our waiting.


Kathy Galloway

07 Advent

Hot on the heels on the Manchester Passion comes the Liverpool Nativity. Marking it's place as this year's city of culture.

It will be aired on BBC Three on Sun 16 Dec, 8:00 pm - 9:00 pm

"The Christmas story live in Liverpool as you've never seen it before. Liverpool's great musical heritage is the soundtrack to this contemporary music drama set in a fictitious state. It is a tale as relevant today as it was 2000 years ago - an intimate personal story of a pregnant young girl set against a backdrop of political tension and unrest. Starring Geoffrey Hughes as the Angel Gabriel, Jodie McNee as Mary, Kenny Thompson as Joseph, Jennifer Ellison as an Angel and other well known Liverpool personalities turning up in unexpected places".

06 Advent

I found this photo on flickr the other day and it was a perfect prompt that this advent season amid all the craziness, we must keep looking for the source of the light.

05 Advent

Confession

In the beginning was the word
but we refused to listen
In the beginning was the word
but we were illiterate
In the beginning was the word
but we miss spelt him
In the beginning was the word
but we didn't speak his language
In the beginning was the word
but we turned him into a sentence
In the beginning was the word
but we preferred our own words
In the beginning was the word
but we were into moving pictures
In the beginning was the word
but we abbreviated him
In the beginning was the word
but we changed the subject
In the beginning was the word
but we put him in a powerpoint presentation
In the beginning was the word
but he became an expletive
In the beginning was the word
but we queried his grammar
In the beginning was the word
but we deleted him from our vocabulary

Author unknown.

04 Advent

Last year I had an advent candle and each night I would use the time it burned to think about and to bring to God someone who was far away from me, either geographically or through life's business. It was a sacred time and I may pop out for one this weekend.

03 Advent

Midwinter Prayer

God of all creation
of bare forest and low northern skies
of paths unknown and never to be taken
of bramble, sparrow and damp, dark earth

we thank you for loss, for the breaking of the dimming year
we thank you for light, even in it's seeming midwinter failing
we thanks you for life, for it's hope and resistance
like a seed dying and living.

Rachel Mann

Taken from Doing December Differently

02 Advent

The Christmas term is always busy for us, it's assemblies in particular this week during which I tell the story of Jim and his family and how they experimented with Christmas celebrations...

Last year Jim and his family decided to celebrate in a different way. The names of each family member were put into a hat and they took turns to draw one name out. They no longer had to buy loads of presents for all their relatives but they had to do something extra special for the name they picked. Something that showed they loved that person, they knew their likes and dislikes and was a gift that cost the giver something of them self. This is what Jim writes...

Last year our youngest daugther, Amanda, drew my name. I've been a runner for most of my life, and she has never been one. For Christmas, she registered both of us for a 10K fun run that was scheduled for the following February. [We] then spent the time between Christmas and the run training together. When the day came, we ran the entire 10K together. On the wall in my bedroom, I have a picture of us crossing the finish line. It is one of my treasures because my little girl, thought about who I was, and took some time to give something of herself to me.

He says “I can't stop the world from making Christmas what it makes it. But, I can - and I will - spend the Advent Season this year slowing down, spending time with family and friends, giving myself to them, celebrating their presence in my life.

Find more of Jim's thoughts on his post of 19th Nov 06 www.faithwalking.blogpot.com

Advent is here...

I love the idea of trying to post every day in advent as a way to reflect on the season and to prepare for Christmas. I'm sure it will be very much like opening a calendar; missing days and opening two on others but we'll see.

Aunty Flower kicks us off with this...

A Christmas Thought

If, as Herod, we fill our lives with things;
If we consider ourselves so unimportant that we must fill our lives with action;
When will we have the time to make the long journey across the desert as did the Magi?
Or sit and watch the stars as did the Shepherds?
Or brood over the coming of the Child, as did Mary?

For each of us there is a desert to travel,
A star to discover,
And a being within ourselves to bring to life!

Blessed are the cracked...

Had a whole week back in sunny (and somewhat freezing) Luton and no dashing off anywhere to advertise the brilliant world that is schoolswork.co.uk - check it out!

And it's been a great week. Had appraisal; not fired! Seen one of my chaplains doing her thing in school and been blown away watching classes thinking about Peace and it's role in their lives, seen the awesome creative work another is doing getting kids to think about prayer whilst the others are going to take whole year groups on to engage them in thinking about God and where faith fits in their worlds. Honoured to work with these amazing individuals.

Met a brilliant youth worker from Chelmsford (we met so many more when we were away too)who just confirmed for me how blessed we are at LCET with all the support and fantastic management we have.

Went into London to Patio - THE best Polish restaurant, like eating good school dinners in an aging aunts dinning room! Probably not the best way to sell it and not referring to my aunt, who was there and looking younger than ever in a very funky hat it has to be said! Early celebs of Uncle's birthday too (rock on!).

Then off to Bush Hall to see Duke Special. Oh my word, one of the most fun gigs I've been too! The song sheets were handed round Music Hall style, fitting to the venue but these sheets included 'I predict a riot', 'Wuthering Heights', 'Jump', and 'Maps' not exactly the good old days but brilliantly funny. And I just loved watching everyone singing, and people love to sing, I think we're designed to do it (something to do with worship me thinks?!)but many of us don't get the chance!

Anyway, it was cool because it felt beautiful and sad and laugh-out-loud-funny all at once. The band have a unique mission. Then there was an angelic moment when he sang about "sometimes we need to be broken, to let the light out". Shivers ran down my spine because Aunty Flower had sent me a card last week after my 'dead woman walking' post and it had a badge on which said "Blessed are the cracked for they let in the light"! Two different angles on the same theme; treasure in clay pots an' all and this whole time has been so much about that - even today helping out a friend who is both beautiful and broken right now.

I love how God speaks to us, alway gentle, always creative, always expansive never restrictive, often with laughter, tears and the unexpected.

Dead woman walking

So here I am manning (or womaning ?) The schoolswork stand at the Youthwork conference and it's fair to say I am totally shattered!

BUT, and it's a big one, it has been totally brilliant and well worth it. It's a total rollercoaster, from despair - trying to put the scaffold stand together; not understanding the plans, it having too many bolts and us all being too short to just brilliant times of sharing; amazing youthworkers who were really encouraging about the project and just so willing to share about their stories.

I think we've probably all found new strengths in ourselves that we didn't know existed before!

Will take some reflection and much recovery but good, good, good!

Comment

So TDog (source of all things interesting currently) had posted a lengthly reflection on Christians and violence following a conversation that started something like Christian Youth Workers should switch the tv off after 4:30 and not watch any films over PG rating (I simplify).

Well I tried to offer my two pennies worth in the form of the comment but it repeatedly failed to process, so deciding it was probably too long I thought I'd retype it here (that's love for you).

Penny One. I'm reading Soul Graffiti and Mark Scandrette said something that I think accords with what TDog was exploring, he writes...

"The message of the kingdom of love comes to us in the context of our culture, and we grasp the message by awareness of it's meaning in our particular time and place. Jesus was a student of his time and related his message to the concerns and context of people in a particular place...I watched the film Boys Don't Cry to get a better understanding of my neighbour, now in a same sex relationship, who, much like the girl in the movie, spent her teenage years in a small town. Discussing the film together opened the door to intimacy and trust in our friendship. I like to watch movies or read books with people so that viewing becomes a springboard into conversation about meaning and values. If we don't like what we see in the arts and media, we are invited to transition from culture consumers to culture makers".

Penny Two. One of the worst cases I had to report on was of three teenagers who repeatedly stabbed another lad and pushed him off a cliff after taking drugs and watching the movie Scream. Now lots is going on here and the violence is only one small aspect. But in films, and particularly in the case of video games, I have long been worried about how some young people cannot seperate reality and fantasy and cannot critique their feelings or the actions a game induces them to carry out. And it worries me that such games are almost always without consequence, shoot people, steal cars, walk away etc.

But as people of faith I think we need to use these things, as Scandrette suggests, to ask questions of the young people we know. What are the choices they make, what is the value of life/possessions, what do we learn from what we see, if we're learning that we can act however we want how do we handle it when we're crossed, what are the consequences to our actions, what does this 'mean' for us, is there such a thing as too violent, where do we draw a line? And we need to ask ourselves the same questions too.

I do however, think it's ridiculous to say as people of faith we shouldn't watch violent movies, read violent books etc what do we do edit Jesus' life story?

Upload

Suffering from a virus, the perception of too much to do, wet weather and the feeling of becoming translucent, I wrote this...


Stop
Switch off
Log in, to a new space
Enter the password; permission
Hear the hard disk whirring, see the lights flicker
Open space.
What is the icon for this place?
A blank sheet, a question mark, a cross?
Be, here. Not do.
Allow order to arrange itself, while you are not watching.
Focus instead elsewhere,
To your heartbeat
From faint or racing …to rhythmical.
Feel the expansion
Of physicality, of possibility, of eternity.
Upload

In the interest of balance...

...another gem from Tom

POLITICALLY CORRECT LORD'S PRAYER

Our (mis)Concept of Patriarchal Authority, who, it can be said, inhabits the metaphysical sphere, privileged be your signifier.

May your social structure achieve dominance.

May the enactment of your desire be manifested throughout the physical-metaphysical dichotomy.

Empower us this day with the means of material production,

And refuse to enforce sanctions against our behavior which some see as subversions of a moral perspective, just as we refuse to marginalize the moral perspectives of others who have exerted their individuality.

Don't lead us into situation that some would (mis)understand as detrimental to the full expression of our humanness, but liberate us from the concept of "evil."

For yours is the hegemony, and the dominance, and perceived mystification within the entire continuum of the Western concept of linear time.

The Lord's Prayer

TDog led a very thought provoking chapel time about The Lord's Prayer this morning - in fact a think there's a whole series on one of St Francis' writings about this prayer but that's for a spare moment!

One of the pieces that really stood out was questioning our remote auto- pilot repetition and our failure to consider really the radical nature of the prayer Jesus' taught us to say. Arch Bishop, Rowan Williams says this..

"Every single bit of the Lord's Prayer is radical because every single bit of it challenges our assumptions about who we are and who God is and what the world is like ... what it's praying for is the most revolutionary change you can imagine in the world we live in. A change to a situation where what God wants can happen, to a situation where all the hungry are fed, to a situation where forgiveness is the first imperative in all our relationships..."

Below is the version that somewhat pulled me up short about what I say Sunday by Sunday often by rote...


*I cannot say Our if my religion has no room for others and their needs

*I cannot say Father if I do not demonstrate this in my daily living.

*I cannot say who art in heaven if all my interests are in things and possessions.

*I cannot say hallowed be thy name if I am not holy.

*I cannot say thy kingdom come if I act like I am the centre of the universe.

*I cannot say thy will be done if I am unwilling or resentful of having it in my life.

*I cannot say on earth as it is in heaven unless I am willing to serve and help others.

*I cannot say give us this day our daily bread without providing for others.

*I cannot say forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us if I continue to harbour a grudge against anyone.

*I cannot say lead us not into temptation if I deliberately choose to remain in a situation where I am likely to be tempted.

*I cannot say deliver us from evil if I am not prepared to back up my plea for God's help with constant prayer.

*I cannot say thine is the kingdom if I do not act as part of that kingdom-responsible, caring, and willing to serve.

*I cannot say thine is the glory if I am seeking my own glory first.

*I cannot say forever if I am too anxious about each day's worries and activities.

*I cannot say Amen unless I honestly say, "Cost what it may, this is my prayer."

Celebrate good times come on!

I had the blessed (interpret that at will) task of leading team worship this morning and decided we'd look at the theme of "celebrating". If we really have some 'good news' how are we living that out?

We remembered God saying to Jesus "this is my son with whom I am WELL pleased" (which always makes me smile because it's like God has gone ghetto but...) and taking time to listen to why he may also be 'well pleased' with us, which we duly did.

We then shared our celebration with another person. Next, numbered 1 and 2 all the way round the room, every 2 moved to a new number 1 and shared what their original number 1 was celebrating. It felt like boasting about someone elses achievements which was overwhelmingly positive...and pride seemed to be jumping all over the room.

Finally we all summed up in one sentance what we were celebrating before sharing communion.

I thought the idea worked really well, even though I didn't felt I presented the whole idea very effectively (but hey I was tired after my weekend sortie to north yorkshire), I certainly forgot alot of the stuff I'd planned to say. Most importantly what I forgot to tell everyone was that I was actually celebrating something incredible ....the fact that at 32, whilst in the supermarket buying wine for communion I'd been asked for id!!!

Reasons to be cheerful!

Great Yorkshire Amateur Chef of the Year

That's my brother that is! Yes, Tim beat off stiff competition to scoop the coverted title yesterday.

Only just 18, he remained cool as a cucumber whilst roasting the other competitors in the final held at Harvey Nichols, Leeds.

He now has to demonstrate his dish to the great and good at one of the Yorkshire Agricultural Society's shows ... and amazingly he wasn't originally going to enter!!!

Shoot for the moon kiddo ...we'll be back up for dinner soon!

(Ed note: This article previously used the title Yorkshire Young Chef of the Year we apologise for the inaccuracy of this statement and recognise that the correct accolade really makes Timbo a whole lot more clever!So in that case we're coming up for dinner AND dessert! ;-))

Don't stretch that metaphor

The 9th September saw my 4th annual LCET service. It's so amazing how we've grown in that time from about 12 when I first started, to 26 this year, including our lovely volunteers and two interns.

Our challenge as a team is to go into the deep end ... deeper with the young people, deeper in the scope and reach of our work and deeper in our spiritual lives both as team and as individuals.

To start that off the chaplaincy team had our first termly half day of prayer and God really challenged us to accept that we are loved and to live in the strength of that this year.

We were using the metaphor of the deep end as we prayed which was helpful to a point until I heard myself saying "and what are the blown up pyjama trousers of your faith?" - take me now!! In mitigation (not that I suspect there is any after that question but...) we had been remembering swimming survival lessons - the mystifying diving to get a brick ('really it's only a brick, I'd let it drown') and the jumping in with your nightwear on (see the headline 'sleepwalking ends in tragedy') - taking your bottoms off, tying a knot in each leg, inflating them and enjoying your blue-peter style bouyancy aid (which as with all bp projects didn't actually work).

It was a firm lesson that imagery should be carefully controlled!

Whipsnade!

Had a great day at the zoo with Quinladen and Mr Flower yesterday - leaving aside the whole ethical debate about zoo's and the chimps bad skin condition - it was great to see so many animals and we managed to time all our stops to fantastic displays whether the hippo wallowing, the lemur love-in or the elephant walk. Enjoy!

Virus Warning

I don't usually post these but this one's serious ...

There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally,
and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer
(WORK).

If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone
else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your
private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on and take
two good friends to the nearest restaurant. Purchase the antidote known
as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or
Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote
repeatedly, until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5
friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your
life.

With thanks to Wickedx

Wise words...

love is to reaveal the beauty of another person to themselves.

(Badly) quoting Jean Varnier, founder of L'Arche community

Duke (Extra) Special

Unexpected highlight of Greenbelt this year were (or was) Duke Special. I'd heard the song "Last night I nearly died" on Radio 2 but never caught who it was, just loved the conceit.

Then we caught Peter Wilson at the Rising (song writers panel)with Martyn Joseph and he was soulful and introspective, then live on mainstage complete with costume and ragtime band it was full speed and larger than life.

The sound is like nothing else, lyrics are deep and real, bone-marrow exposively (if that's a word)so.


There's a touch of the Pierot about Wilson,as his act projects a dark vulnerability. The songs are vaudeville, Kurt Weil and then Keane-esq anthems too. It's like a waking dream at once surreal and plausible. It's also a very shrewed attempt to do what you want to do (artistically)... and still live (commercially), you can hear the singles but the tracks hang together perfectly as an album and manage to sound diverse not duplicitous.

As soon as I figure out how to put tracks into this blog I will, until then I urge everyone to buy the cd or better still go and see them/him live.

If your life is missing something poignant and beautiful this is the place to find it.

So many blogs so little time...

I don't know if I'm alone in this but I have a running list of blogs in my head and often life is too hectic to get them down and then there is a quandry. Do I go back to the beginning or do I store blogs and start with the most recent life happening? Decisions, decisions, but don't worry I'm not losing sleep over this!

So some blogs that never got fully formed this months are...

Nature is cruel - Mum and I went for a lovely walking the Worcestershire countryside and spent a while watching three hares. They are utterly amazing creature and so rarely seen. Then a man came along with a gun and started shooting at them! Which in itself was a wierd metaphor for village life at that time. There you are enjoying all the happenings and experiences of rural village life and then someone comes along with something explosive! We live through these experiences no matter how painful and somehow hope they change our understanding/compassion for the better.

Heaven in ordinary - Greenbelt 07 was awesome and I only went for a day, it's so creative and vibrant and just inspiring, heaven on earth and THAT'S far from ordinary!

Soul Survivor - so good, so different from Greenbelt but fab to be in worship with 10,000 people.

Mark Yaconelli - he may have knocked Delia Smith off the left hand of God spot. Much more on his wisdom at a later date. (Oh and he served me communion!!!!).

And it's a new term at LCET, and I'm in charge!!! whoooooaaa haaa haaa!!!!

So if you're lucky you're saved from reading the waffling versions of those forrays into the dark space that is my mind....ooo and little-flower might have made it into print!! Where? (Mumbles) Er,(mumbles) the west midlands moth spotters monthly mag - see the truth is stranger than fiction!