Hey Little Flower

When I look...

2012-01-12T21:47:00.004Z

On Monday night I was talking a bit the divine in the ordinary and the spirituality of everyday. It came off the back of listening to Mary by Patty Griffin again (see advent) and loving the image of Mary, imminently after the death of Christ back at home doing what mother's do. And it raises the idea of habitual practice as shelter in the face of crisis and maybe just something about the very role of mother - or woman - that sees the practical enveloping the emotional in times of need(?).

So often it seems to me that as we go about our daily business, we can close God down to the very expected sightings/ touches/ sounds of Him. We use our own frame of reference of what is or isn't spiritual and can't look outside of that or almost don't expect him to act in areas we don't consider worthy. (Watching the film Senna challenges this mindset for me.) We forget that inane can be just as moving and necessary as the profound, that play is just as enriching as work and that for those who have eyes to see God is all over. Especially if we look with intentionality.

Walking out with Blossom this afternoon we were looking at the bare hedgerows and I was doing my best to assuage her disappointment at the lack of blackberries when we came across three vacant little nests.

They were beautifully crafted and looked so comfortable with their mossed outers and fur-lined interiors agains the stiff branches. They were an unexpected gift.

I had been talking earlier today to a friend who is going through an extremely rough time, scratched and beaten by the harsh circumstances around her, she is in desperate need of little pockets of safety and comfort to just make 'doing life' a viable option. The nests made me think how vital it is to construct 'homes' in the midst of daily life. It doesn't matter what we use to make these safe havens - encouraging words, faces, films, art, a duvet, silence, God's presence - but we must have them scattered here and there amongst our weekly routine. Especially in the winter - whether literal or metaphorical.

Then tonight I watched Countryfile on iplayer, in particular the interview with David Hockney about his latest exhibition which I am going to see with Uncle Flower, at the Royal Academy in March.

Asked what he would like people to take from his amazing film in particular he said an understanding that ...

"looking is a more positive act than you think it is, it's something that you decide to do"

Any reminder of this is helpful for me. Whether it's the needs of a friend, places of safety and rest or glimpses of His holiness, may I strive to see.

Advent - over and out

2011-12-26T21:38:00.002Z

Oops so the glad tidings of the season got the better of me when it came to blogging and so very close to the final hurdle - or big day!

Anyway, after the last slightly somber entry I wanted to end on a more positive note as advent has made way for Christmas, and in it's wake soon will come new year.

Here's the prayer from our Christmas Day service, not new but still spot on when it comes to facing new experiences, challenges and holding new resolutions about just how we live life in the light of the first Christmas.

May the joy of the angels,
The eagerness of the shepherds,
The perseverance of the wise men,
The obedience of Joseph and Mary
And the peace of the Christ child
Be yours this Christmas.

Avent 22 - death

2011-12-22T23:01:00.002Z

Today I met someone who is grieving. I was reminded how brutally out of nowhere, grief can strike, the most random of happenings, words, faces or places leaving you blind-sided.

It made me think about my own grief, which is still close despite the distance.

I once read of a church in Christchurch, NZ which held a "Blue Christmas" service, recognising how hard Christmas is for many for reasons of grief, loneliness, family breakdown or isolation and so on. I think there would be real power in such a service, and probably healing too.

I remembered too how one of the schools I worked in had a memory tree, a fir tree which pupils placed messages on to those relatives - living or dead - which they wouldn't see at Christmas.

I also accidentally found this poem by Mary Oliver.

When death comes
like the hungry bear in autumn;
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse

to buy me, and snaps his purse shut;
when death comes
like the measle pox;

when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,

I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering:
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?

And therefore I look upon everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,

and I think of each life as a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,

and each name a comfortable music in the mouth
tending as all music does, toward silence,

and each body a lion of courage, and something
precious to the earth.

When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was a bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it’s over, I don’t want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened
or full of argument.

I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.

Advent 21 - Keeping Mum

2011-12-21T23:11:00.003Z

The 9 lessons and carols service tonight left me wondering about Mary and what she was like as a Mum. It is also my Mum's birthday.

We know Mary was an awesome parent - "she was great with child"! (Sorry) But I do wonder if we could have chatted about motherhood over a cuppa if there would be any resonance between our experiences of parenting. Unfortunately I've been rushing up and down motorways and had no time for my thinking to percolate but whilst catching up with one of my favourite blogs - that of Simon Carey Holt, based in Melbourne - I found his musings on this mot highly favoured lady ... coincidentally featuring one of my all time favourite singer songwriters.

I'm hoping he won't mind if I share...
Simon Carey Holt Blog - Songs for Advent 3

Advent 20 - The holly and the ivy

2011-12-20T21:44:00.002Z

I did part of the flower arranging in church last week. Not something I've ever done before but something it was very nice to have a go at.

There was a big donation of foliage (or "foil-age" as the gardener apparently pronounced it much to the mirth of the church warden) from the near-by Estate house and it was lovely to have fabulous holly and ivy, laurel and yew at our disposal. So evocative of this time of year in nature and in our festive traditions.

And it's funny that as much as I've tried to remember latin names of plants in my garden I never can, except for Ilex, I've never known why that one stuck!

I thought the web would be full of the mythology about Holly and indeed there are plenty of facts and trivia out there. This offering comes from the Trees for Life Campaign

Though holly doubtless was, and still is, brought into the house for its shiny green leaves and berries, which reflect the light and add colour to the dark days of Yule, it has another significance as well. Christian symbolism connected the prickly leaves with Jesus' crown of thorns and the berries with the drops of blood shed for humanity's salvation, as is related, for example, in the Christmas carol, 'The Holly and the Ivy'. Yet even here the reference to these two plants refers to a pre-Christian celebration, where a boy would be dressed in a suit of holly leaves and a girl similarly in ivy, to parade around the village, bringing Nature through the darkest part of the year to re-emerge for another year's fertility.

Holly was also brought into the house variously to protect the home from malevolent faeries or to allow faeries to shelter in the home without friction between them and the human occupants. Whichever of prickly-leaved or smooth-leaved holly was brought into the house first dictated whether the husband or wife respectively were to rule the household for the coming year.

So with that in mind I'm off to raid the gardens smooth leaved holly post haste!

Our arrangements in All saints really just let the wonderful foliage speak for it's self, some white blooms and silver baubles to add a wintery touch. I'm not sure if people may feel it's not festive enough or jolly but I love the feeling of peace it creates - to me at least. My fellow flower arranger did two pedestals either side of the high alter, not somewhere we go much in church life these days. But it was lovely to be up there in what feels a special place - if only through it's lack of familiarity. The arrangements too stood out white their white washed back drop and as I looked from the back of the church I saw palm leaves. It actually made me catch my breath.

So often at Christmas we get wrapped up with the idea of the baby and all the joy that new life brings, not least to see us through the darkness and dormancy of winter time but here in these simple leaves was a reminder that death too is very present. And that this is no ordinary baby.

And upon a Wednesday
His vow will he make

And upon a Friday
His death will he take

And upon the third day
His rising shall be

And the sun and the moon
They shall rise up to see

Advent 19 - Christmas

2011-12-19T21:12:00.000Z

The bells of waiting Advent ring,
The Tortoise stove is lit again
And lamp-oil light across the night
Has caught the streaks of winter rain
In many a stained-glass window sheen
From Crimson Lake to Hookers Green.

The holly in the windy hedge
And round the Manor House the yew
Will soon be stripped to deck the ledge,
The altar, font and arch and pew,
So that the villagers can say
'The church looks nice' on Christmas Day.

Provincial Public Houses blaze,
Corporation tramcars clang,
On lighted tenements I gaze,
Where paper decorations hang,
And bunting in the red Town Hall
Says 'Merry Christmas to you all'.

And London shops on Christmas Eve
Are strung with silver bells and flowers
As hurrying clerks the City leave
To pigeon-haunted classic towers,
And marbled clouds go scudding by
The many-steepled London sky.

And girls in slacks remember Dad,
And oafish louts remember Mum,
And sleepless children's hearts are glad.
And Christmas-morning bells say 'Come!'
Even to shining ones who dwell
Safe in the Dorchester Hotel.

And is it true,
This most tremendous tale of all,
Seen in a stained-glass window's hue,
A Baby in an ox's stall ?
The Maker of the stars and sea
Become a Child on earth for me ?

And is it true ? For if it is,
No loving fingers tying strings
Around those tissued fripperies,
The sweet and silly Christmas things,
Bath salts and inexpensive scent
And hideous tie so kindly meant,

No love that in a family dwells,
No carolling in frosty air,
Nor all the steeple-shaking bells
Can with this single Truth compare -
That God was man in Palestine
And lives today in Bread and Wine.

John Betjemin

Nativity 18 - The Nativity

2011-12-18T20:55:00.000Z

Had a wonderful time last night at The Nativity in Chaddesley Corbett.The village has a tradition of a christmas mystery play going back 40 years and it is just the thing you need to get you in the mood for the big day.

What is always impressive is how it brings together so many of the local community together, young and old, two legs and four! For it does feature a real donkey which is really the icing on the cake of the production that features brilliant scenes, songs, costumes and some very special moments. Not least as people come to share their talents and enthusiasm, regardless of belief, at such a busy time - it is a deep gift.

Some of the text dates back to the 14th century, from the tradition of mystery and morality plays that were often perfumed on village greens and for many years The Nativity was produced every four years in Chaddesley.

This year saw the addition of a poignant moment where a life size the cross was back-lit whilst surrounded by dry ice, as Stainer's God So Loved the World played. Taking the play from it original ending at the slaughtering of the innocents to the near completion of the story.

One of the most thought provoking of scene setters was a recording of an Aramaic chant, a birth announcement such as that which could have been made when Jesus was born. It took you from a village in the Midland's to far away in time and space.

Today is born of a virgin
He who holds the whole of creation in His hand.
He whose essence none can touch
is bound in swaddling clothes.
God who in the beginning
established the heavens lies in a manger.
We worship Thy birth O Christ

Advent 17 - The nativity

2011-12-17T09:36:00.001Z

We've recently been enjoying The Jesus Storybook Bible, here's this weekend's gospel reading...

The Nativity, Luke 1-2

Everything was ready. The moment God had been waiting for was here at last! God was coming to help his people, just as he promised in the beginning.
But how would he come? What would he be like? What would he do? Mountains would have bowed down. Seas would have roared. Trees would have clapped their hands. But the earth held its breath. As silent as snow falling, he came in. And when no one was looking, in the darkness he came.

There was a young girl who was engaged to a man named Joseph. (Joseph was the the great-great-great-great-great grand son of King David). One morning this girl was minding her own business when, suddenly, a great warrior of light appeared - right there, in her bedroom. He was Gabriel and he was an angel, a special messenger from heaven.
When she saw the tall shining man standing there, Mary was frightened.

"You don't need to be scared," Gabriel said. "God is very happy with you!" Mary looked around to see if perhaps he was talking to someone else.

"Mary," Gabriel said. and he laughed with such gladness that Mary's eyes filled with sudden tears.

"Mary, you're going to have a baby. A little boy. You will call him Jesus. He is God's own son. He's the one! He's the Rescuer!"

The God who flung planets into space and kept them whirling around and around, the God who made the universe with just a word, the one who could do anything at all - was making himself small. And coming down ...as a baby. Wait. God was sending a baby to rescue the world?

"But it's too wonderful!" Mary said and felt her heart beating hard. "How can it be true?"

"Is anything too wonderful for God?" Gabriel asked.

So Mary trusted God more than her eyes could see. And believed. "I am God's servant" she said. "Whatever God says, I will do."

Advent 16 - The Christmas Story

2011-12-16T15:52:00.000Z

We had a day full of little people today, so when I finally logged on it was lovely to find an email pointing me to this, Christmas in the words and acting of little people. Thanks Mrs B!

Advent 14 - underground blessings

2011-12-14T21:27:00.003Z

Today I went up to London at rush hour for the first time in a long while. It was crazier than ever and I let three tubes go at Victoria before I was brave enough to try and muscle my way in.

On the way out I saw a man having a similar struggle getting onto the up escalator, I paused for a brief moment and gestured for him to jump on. His eye's almost popped out of his head and he did a double take as he stepped on. It made me smile.

I was then delighted on my return journey to see a poster about Michael Landy's Art on the underground project. It just encourages tube users and staff to report acts of kindness. The Guardian critic thought it was devoid of enchantment and it's certainly not the most magical of ideas but I LOVE the celebration of kindness in this way and found the range of stories heart-warming.

Here are just a few...

I was on the Tube from City Airport into town when two men in suits got on opposite me, talking business. As they talked, one of them took a sheet of paper and started folding it. He made a beautiful origami flower, and just as he was about to get off, turned and presented with a smile to the young woman sitting next to him. The smile quickly spread to her, and then to everyone else in the carriage as we saw the look of surprise and delight on her face.

I was trying to pass an elderly man in the train to get off. By coincidence we both kept stepping in the same direction. As we eventually got round each other, he joked, “You dance divinely!” I was feeling a bit bothered by the experience but that made me laugh. It was a sweet thing to say and it made an annoying situation fun. That’s a form of kindness, I think.

Once, I was on the Tube travelling back from my friends' house in Clapham. An Aussie guy got up and made everyone play musical chairs - every stop for about 10 stops, it was still going when I had to get off. Some of us were very English and reserved at first, then politely amused, but in the end he got us all joining in. Still makes me smile to remember it.

Between Victoria and Vauxhall, I was weeping. A woman asked me gently, "Are you alright, my dear?" And I said, "No. My father died." She moved to sit next to me and held my hand. I talked about my father's love. She talked about losing her son. She closed her eyes, and as she prayed to Jesus, I prayed to Allah, for the strength to walk that chasm where grief resides. At Vauxhall, I left, saying goodbye to a woman whose name I do not know, but who had reached deep into my heart.

I'll leave the last word to this passanger...

I'm from Liverpool and just started working in London and having had knee surgery was wary getting the train and Tube on crutches. I'd heard all the stories about rude and inconsiderate London commuters. So I was hugely surprised that I got offered a seat every day on both the Overland train and the Tube. I think sometimes people just need the opportunity to be kind.

Advent 13 - Christmas Is Waiting

2011-12-13T21:45:00.000Z

Christmas is waiting to happen.
Outside, a vacant hillside
lies silent, strangely empty
of any angel's choir.
A stable waits
for bookings at the inn to multiply.
Distant kings study charts
and keep gifts in cold storage,
while shepherds plan their memoirs
in expectancy of unexpected fame
and keep a chapter free for miracles.
A small velvet patch
in the black night sky
stands ready to hold a newborn star,
and oppressed people everywhere
cling wildly to a prophecy and a song
and whisper the word: Messiah.
They've switched on the lights
in Oxford Street,
counting off the buying days,
like guardsmen on parade,
shops are stocked and standing by,
revving up the engines
of their debt-powered swiping machines,
and history watchers mark another year
in the slow count to 3000.
But here an old man lies
in the stairwell where he fell three days ago
and no one knows.
Here a young girl loiters
in a streetlight's unholy halo
to sell the only thing she owns
that men will pay for.
And here an infant sleeps
on a sack on the hard earth floor
where even a mother's hand
is empty,
and there are places where Christmas
is still waiting
to happen.

Gerard Kelly,
Spoken Worship

Advent 12 - the in-crowd?

2011-12-12T22:00:00.003Z

After our service with the Bishop on Sunday there was a soup lunch and a small number of the congregation stayed behind.

The Flower family were joined at the table by a handful of our most marginal members; early teens who are I think it's fair to say equally delighted and repelled by the strange beast that is "church".

I don't think they've ever made it to an entire service, they usually manage to upset someone and don't have a clue about the subtle nuances of a communion service but they've hearts as big as themselves a fact they like to keep hidden behind a high decibel level of bluff and bravado.

Looking around to the other tables it was interesting to see the characters taking part in this holy meal, people who shape and form our rag tag community with their obstacles overt and hidden.

I've always felt that one of the biggest gifts the church has for the world is community, with all the struggles and challenges that creates. We're designed to live in community and this is a place to work out what that looks like, complete with joy and pain ...and a lot of necessary grace.

Anyway, browsing the internet I found this post on www.maggidawn.com

“…the church has been criticizing itself for too long, and it ought to start celebrating its unsung and remarkable achievements. The trouble is that the faults of the church are so obvious – the gap between its ideals and the reality is so glaring. But the other trouble is that most of us do not have our eyes open to see the miracles of grace> They are to be found in such ordinary, unremarkable, simple things that we do not even notice. We think our worship is dull, and miss the movement of the Spirit in the secret places, the everyday saints, who are there among us but we dismiss them as ‘old so-and-so.’ In my experience the church is capable of transcending the divisions in our society, it is capable of integrating the odd and unacceptable, it is more sensitive to basic human values than wider society. It can act as leaven, and we should no disparage this. Maybe we all need to go on a voyage of exploration into unlikely places to meet unlikely people – not the great ones of the world but the marginalized and afflicted who will teach us what true human values are.”

Frances Young, Face to Face, 105-6

Advent 11 - holy moments in Wing

2011-12-11T22:35:00.000Z

Funny that I was talking about the pace of advent two days ago as it fitted exactly with the introduction to the Bishop of Oxford's address when he visited church today (only he put it a little more eloquently).

He talked about the gift of four weeks of advent, four weeks to mark time, a Sunday to pause each week and to help us slow down and feel the waiting.

He then went on to talk about time ... one question we had at our 'rest' discussion was "Is it possible to reclaim a sense of time as an abundant gift from God rather than a scarce commodity?"

I think the Bishop addresses this today...

He spoke about three types of time

1) Circular time - seed time and harvest, the changing of the seasons, marking the year by sports fixtures, or just the fact that Christmas has come 'round' again.

2) Chronos or linear time - with phrases like "how long will it take". The idea of time going somewhere was introduced by Hebrew thought and indeed Jesus follows a linear journey too on a heavenly trajectory from it's beginning in Galilee. History too is heading for an ending or the fulfilment of God's plan.

3) Kairos time - "the appointed time in the purpose of God" or special moments when God acts or breaks into Chronos time. Jesus' birth, life, cross, resurrection. But we have our own Kiaros moments too. When has God either tip toed or crashed into our lives?

Advent is when linear time waits for Kairos time, God is always coming into our lives through grace not just at advent. Each moment is full of God if we choose to see it but it is only in the present moment that we can see God...our challenge is to allow those Kairos moments in all we do this advent and beyond. Whether commending people to God as we write their names in Christmas cards or take time out to share coffee with someone and to really be present to them.

Unfortunately, my Kairos moment was interrupted as at this point in the talk as I was called into Sunday School by the arrival of some late angels. But maybe someone may take a linear moment to add any more wisdom over the next few days...

Advent 10 - Godsmacked

2011-12-10T21:23:00.000Z

you came
a tiny
vulnerable
baby
lungs screaming for
life,
fingers grasping for
something to hold on to,
your whole being
completely depending on
us (!) to
feed you
change you
clothe you
protect you
love you
and we were
gobsmacked.

by Thom Shuman

Advent 9 - speeding up, then slow down

2011-12-09T18:06:00.006Z

Two evenings ago I found myself trying to feed blossom, whilst on the phone to Mother Flower, at the same time as preparing dinner for Mr Flower and myself - Ridiculous behaviour but how often do we create these multitasking nightmares that leave us shattered and resentful.

Discussing my behaviour with said husband later that night we commented on how the crazy thing is if we just focused on one thing at a time we'd probably get as much done but actually enjoy the experience and be present for each task rather than none.

It certainly didn't value the other people involved, I can't recall the subject matter of the conversation and I barely noticed cooking the meal let alone enjoying the process.

What's even more frustrating is that recently I was leading a group exploring 'rest' and sabbath living, one thing that we touched on was how this notion that constant multi-tasking and being busy-to-breaking point is just the way life and culture. As TS Elliott lamented "What’s particularly discouraging is the people I meet feel resigned to a life in which there is no alternative; a life in which we are all destined to be “distracted from distraction by distraction”.

But isn't it actually our choice? We choose whether we live with the cultural narrative or counter it. If Jesus had come to my kitchen this week I can imagine a parable would have followed! And I feel sure the notion that 'the world might cease turning if we even stop momentarily' would definitely be on his myth busting agenda. After all stress related illnesses are ever rising and mental health issues are too surely that's no coincidence, we're not designed to be flat out all the time. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world???

Talking about his experience of taking a sabbath day each week Rob Bell says...

I decided to start taking one day a week to cease from work. And what I discovered is that I couldn’t even do it at first.

I would go into depression.

By the afternoon I would be so . . . low.

I realized that my life was all about keeping the adrenaline buzz going and that I was only really happy when I was going all the time. When I stopped to spend a day to remember that I am loved just because I exist, I found out how much of my efforts were about earning something I already have.

Sabbath is taking a day a week to remind myself that I did not make the world and that it will continue to exist without my efforts.

Sabbath is a day when my work is done, even if it isn’t.

Sabbath is a day when my job is to enjoy. Period.

Sabbath is a day when I am fully available to myself and those I love most.

Sabbath is a day when I remember that when God made the world, he saw that it was good.

Sabbath is a day when I produce nothing.

Sabbath is a day when I remind myself that I am not a machine.

Sabbath is a day when at the end I say, “I didn’t do anything today,” and I don’t add, “And I feel so guilty.”

Sabbath is a day when my phone is turned off, I don’t check my email, and you can’t get ahold of me.

Jesus wants to heal our souls, wants to give us the shalom of God. And so we have to stop. We have to slow down. We have to sit still and stare out the window and let the engine come to an idle. We have to listen to what our inner voice is saying.

There are so many layers to the healing of the soul... Now when we read the word Sabbath, most of us think that the real issue behind the Sabbath isn’t which day of the week it is but how we live all the time.
A challenge worth considering, especially at this time of year?

Advent 8 - Waiting

2011-12-08T22:30:00.002Z

God, so much of faith is waiting

like a pregnant woman
waiting in hope

like a people under siege
holding out till relief comes

like the soul lost in darkness
unable to see even a glimmer of light
yet stumbling through the night
because somewhere,
out ahead,
day will surely break

God, be with us in our waiting

from Makers Blessing, The Iona Community

Advent 7 - time to celebrate?!?

2011-12-07T22:02:00.005Z

Love this story ...

My friend Tony Campolo tells a story that serves as a great parable...
He was in another timezone and couldn't sleep, so well after midnight he wandered down to a doughnut shop where, it turned out local hookers also came at the end of a night of turning tricks. There he overheard a conversation between two of them.One, named Agnes, said "You know what? Tomorrow's my birthday. I'm gonna be thirty nine." Her friend snapped back. "So what d'ya want from me? A birthday party? Huh? You want me to get a cake and sing happy birthday to you?" The first woman replied "Aw, come on, why do you have to be so mean? Why do you have to put me down? I'm just saying it's my birthday. I don't want anything from you. I mean why should I have a birthday party? I've never had a birthday party in my whole life. Why should I have one now?"

When they left, Tony got an idea. He asked the shop owner if Agnes came in every night, and when he applied to the affirmative, Tony invited him to a surprise party conspiracy. The shop owners wife even got involved. Together they arranged for cake, candles and typical party decorations for Agnes, who was to Tony a complete stranger. The next night when she came in they shouted "Surprise!" - and Agnes couldn't believe her eyes. The doughnut shop patrons sang and she began to cry so hard she could barely blow out the candles. When the time came to cut the cake, she asked if they'd mind if she didn't cut it, if she could bring it home - just to keep it for a while and savour the moment. So she left, carrying the cake like treasure.

from The Secret Message of Jesus by Brian McLaren

We need to be people who celebrate not just at Christmas but at every opportunity, everywhere and with everyone, especially now when the worlds rapidly losing reasons to do so...

Advent 6 - The perfect app for a wise man

2011-12-06T22:33:00.006Z

Found goskywatch after a tip off from Uncle Flower.

Modern day magi would do well to add this amazing app, if only it was warmer out I'd be out there exploring the stars. As it is I'll enjoy exploring the northern and southern hemisphere's from the sofa.

It has some brilliant features - find out how old you were when the light seen started it's journey from a star, a built-in database of all stars visible to the naked eye, a red mode for night viewing.

A palm size planetarium.

Advent 5 - Beer, Breakfast and Babies

2011-12-05T15:19:00.004Z

Recently a friend posted this on facebook:

In a Warsaw bar with a friend at the weekend, a complete stranger takes over ordering our drinks from the barman, and then pays for them without saying. He disappears with merely a 'cheers'. Touched by his mysterious and random act of kindness, we do the same for a couple in a café at Sunday brunch, secretly paying their bill and then wishing them a good day on the way out. I wonder if they’ll pass it on?

I love this generosity and the hope of its ripples continuing.

I don't really know where my friend stands with God but as a Christian I see us as all made in God's image. And that our God-likeness just has to get out at times whether we want it too or not, or are aware of it or not. I think it sometimes shows up in such acts of love.

I fear my friend may think I'm imposing my religion on peoples basic human ability to be lovely and maybe I am, after all you certainly don't need to be a Christian to be nice and often in my experience you can be nicer if you're not. But sometimes, to me at least, actions like these can seem even more special than 'just being generous', they're somehow more mystical.

Anyway, all that made me wonder about the Inn Keeper. Who knew Pay It Forward dates back to BC? I wonder how did he feel ending up in the big story of God? Was he looking for the Messiah or not? What made him get involved when he could easily have said no, business was clearly good?

Who knows what threads connect such strangers whether in a Warsaw bar or a Bethlehem street, whatever they are they weave a more beautiful world whatever prompts them.

Advent 4

2011-12-04T17:24:00.000Z

Found this on www.iaskforwonder.com I was looking for a story of the kingdom coming in unexpected ways ...seems appropriate therefore to share it for Advent too...

"The image is by no means finished yet, and time will tell how it turns out, but more important to me is the experience of the process of creating something in such a public space. Whilst I have made art on the streets in the past it has always been on my own paper, on an easel – a creative space that I own and I control, even if I can’t control the public space around me. This was different though, I have never felt genuinely scared making art but I felt real trepidation as I sprayed the paint onto grey breeze blocks.

For some time I have thought that when we act courageously and creatively we open up the potential for love to break through into the world (Jesus called it the Kingdom of God) but I hadn’t realised how vulnerable and exposed it would make me feel.

As soon as I began to paint then cars on the busy roundabout began to honk their horns. I faced the wall, not wanting to see the expression on their faces. But when I eventually plucked up the courage to turn around I saw that the drivers were giving me thumbs up as they went past.

And then the passers by, mostly young men as it happened, who would approach me to say how great it was that someone was doing something like this, or that I should add a ganja leaf to the design, or concerned that I might get caught. Taking the creative risk can draw out so much goodness in people.

A teenage lad, on his half term break, came and watched me for a while. We chatted about his life and he eyed the paints, it was clear he was itching to have a go. In the end I let him and he cut out a small heart stencil and sprayed 3 red hearts connected together in one corner of the image and he told me that this was ‘the second best thing that’s ever happened to me’.

At times police cars cruised around the roundabout slowly and eventually a community support officer approached me to ask what I was doing. I explained the project and that I had permission to work here and he told me that they’d had a few calls from people concerned about what I was doing.

As I reflect on how different people responded it was the young men in their late teens and twenties who came and spoke to me in support, middle aged people mostly scurried past with their heads down, I wonder who called the police? I’m not criticising those who did, it’s good that there are civic minded people about, but it is interesting what actions (and what kind of art) attracts or alienates different types of people. The Officer took down my details and it was one of the few times in my life when I have emphasised the fact that I am a Reverend! He was a good man and we chatted about the community.

Late in the afternoon, as the image began to come together from the random lines and colours, a couple stopped to chat. I don’t recall mentioning to them that I worked for the church but the man showed me a rosary round his neck and said he was a Catholic although he hadn’t been to church for years. The woman was pregnant with her fourteenth child and worried about the future, they wanted me to write their names on the wall and pray for them. I told them that this picture was my prayer for the whole community. Then I pointed to the pattern that the lad had stencilled earlier in the day and told them that those three hearts would be the prayer for the two of them and their unborn child. They were deeply moved and grateful and I was left dumbfounded at how simple symbols and actions can have such a profound effect on people.

Thinking about that afternoon I am in awe at the depth of humanity I encountered and how my fumbling act of creation somehow made the space sacred. I had the sense of participating in something much bigger than I am, something way out of my control. Call it what you like; as a person seeking to follow Christ I might call it the Spirit of God, but those words are so frail and inadequate to encompass the reality.

In the Old Testament, God speaks to Moses from a burning bush and tells him to take off his sandals because he is standing on holy ground. Next time I am out at Parson Cross to finish off the painting on that shabby building, in the midst of the detritus of the street, perhaps I should do it in bare feet…"

Advent 3

2011-12-03T19:10:00.002Z

Thinking about everyone having something to add to the story, on Mary and Joseph's journey and ever since. And the odd community that assembled in Bethlehem, strangers brought together for one reason, and the power of communal celebration.

The sheer joy of this was a holy moment for me, hope it is for you...

On Saturday the 12th November 55 strangers from all over the country came together for one day to form the Cobblers' Orchestra and play two of our songs. There were no prior rehearsals and all music was emailed out to participants one week before the big day. We had one hour to rehearse together before recording. Kick your shoes off, grab a pair of good earphones and enjoy!

Cobblers' Collective - Cobblers' Orchestra - Giraffe Junkie

Advent 2

2011-12-02T20:09:00.000Z

What can I say....

Advent 1

2011-12-01T23:06:00.003Z

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We're getting ready to believe too....

Book

2011-08-28T22:22:00.005+01:00

Who knew what treasures
paper held in cloth could offer?
Words spilling from left to right
across pages, decades and generations.
Cover stained with ring marks
from your cup - of solace, joy, salvation?
A fragile spine resting in hands
that once held yours.
Deep magic
joining hearts and heaven.

(God Calling by Two Listeners was first published in 1934 and was owned by my Grandparents in 1954, now it is speaking to me in 2011)

Rebel, rebel...

2011-03-12T21:39:00.003Z

In church recently for a meeting when it struck me, yet again, how I don't seem to be able to behave myself in 'serious' situations ...attacks of giggles, sarcasm and a heightened innuendo awareness all plague me.

In said meeting when raising a certain point I knowingly said "to play devil's advocate"; common linguistic usage maybe and no jaws hit the floor but maybe the devil was closer than I thought!!

Chatting to a friend about it this morning I said "I don't know why such situations bring out the worst in me? He said "Maybe you're just a rebel".

Now it's not the first time it's been said but it still shocks me, after all I'm a nice middle class, relatively conservative girl who has a clean driving license and the closest I've come to criminal behaviour is the odd mobile phone call on the move.

So I thought well what does it mean to be a rebel. One dictionary definitions put it thus ...

1. To resist or defy an authority or a generally accepted convention.

And I have to say I like the idea of challenging a generally held convention, not for the sake of it but to see if it really holds true for me, rather than just blindly following.

I have to say it is often the safe/inane/basic nature of the dialogue at such meetings that causes my badness to stir from it's slumber, wanting to ask "really", "are you sure", "but why", "does it have to be", "can't we do better?". And even occasionally "was that really worth the energy of thought and use of breath?", which is rich seeing as my limited brain is oh so capable of making ridiculously ill-thought through statements all too easily.

I considered too well known rebels - Jesus, St Francis, Emmeline Pankhurst, Martin Luther King, Bart Simpson ... and the notion began to appeal, after all look at what these people achieved. Perhaps if I embrace my inner rebel my life will be more effective, who knows where it may lead.

Obviously you need to be a rebel with a cause, especially when you're not as good looking or zeitgeist capturing as James Dean or Marlon Brando but as Thomas Caryle so reassuringly puts it...

Men seldom, or rather never for a length of time and deliberately, rebel against anything that does not deserve rebelling against.

Terrific tales for toddlers

2011-02-15T16:05:00.013Z

Reading the same children's book three times in one sitting or repeatedly everyday can, with certain titles, have you reaching for the gin or worse still a revolver. But before you deprive your darling child of a beloved parent, teacher and voice of sane un-slurring authority reach for one of these titles. They are a huge hit with my two year old and have been loved by us all for some time.

Giraffe's Can't Dance by Giles Andreae - Such a feel good, life affirming, self esteem raising book. Fabulous bright pictures and a real sense of fun. Yes you guessed it even giraffe's CAN dance with a little help from their friends.

Augustus And His Smile by Catherine Rayner - Augustus the tiger has lost his smile and begins a solo quest to find it. A stunningly bold but simple morality tale, the illustrations in this book are sumptuous and mysterious. By turns menacing and playful it is a grown up book for little people, devoid of smultz, patronisation or saccharin platitudes.

When The World Is Ready For Bed by Gillian Shields - such a sweet but not cheesy book. Perfect for a Christening or naming day present. Teach toddlers how to treasure each day as a gift, their part in making it what it is and about the interconnectedness of us and our world.

Billy's Beetle by Mick Inkpen - This man must have been one of the main voices of childhood for over a decade. There are so many amazing stories by Mick Inkpen and he's created such a wealth of charming well known characters but this book is one of my favourite. Somewhat absurd in it's premise and characters it's the tale of a little boy who has lost his beetle and all the 'people' he encounters in his search to find it. I never get tired of reading it.

The Beeman by Laurie Krebs and Valeria Cis - This is a unique book from the fantastic Barefoot Books publishing house. Not only about caring for the natural world but about inter-generational relationships. It's quirky illustrations are great fun, especially spotting what the cat is up to on each page and the extra poem, recipe and factual information about bee's is really interesting. Would span a great age range.

Cre-ate-if ...part two

2010-12-30T16:24:00.020Z

So the last three months of my challenge have been and gone and it's been a mixed bag to say the least.Nothing edible this time but some distinctly 'ify' moments.

September saw me undertake a secret project, or three in fact. Collating photo's for three books as Christmas presents. With a mac it is ultra easy and looks so professional but deciding what photo's to use and spending time taking shots to fill in the gaps has been great fun.

They were all brilliantly well received, if sobbing and a refusal to read the introduction in public are good signs!!

I started a Singing for Pleasure course at Bakewell Adult Education college in October, and instantly regretted not having enrolled earlier (it only took me a year!!). The course was led by folk singer, Lester Simpson and was brilliant fun. Very laid back, an ecclectic mix of music and a brilliant sense of achievement even though most weeks I found myself singing bass owing to the usual lack of men. One did start with his wife but by week three was never seen again! (Well by us at least, am hoping his wife still knew his whereabouts).

Having been given a sewing machine for my birthday in March, I finally found a window to try and see how it worked. The machine is awesome, made for idiots which is just as well as i appear to be such a one. I painstakingly drew a template of a doll's dress onto annoyingly curly greaseproof paper, put it onto an off cut of denim and cut it out full of enthusiasm for my new project.
The photo is here because this was the best part! I hemmed each section - one 6 times determined to get it perfect. Starting off turning the wheel by hand before building up enough guts to try the foot operated pedal. It was all going so well until I realised I'd cut the shoulder straps too short and underestimated my side seam allowance. Hey ho, it looked brilliant in parts but was no good for Lotta the ragdoll.

It was also a good exercise in how not to have a psychological melt down. Ghosts from my childhood rose up whispering "lack of abilility"and "missing out on the artistic gene"and a certain maternal spectre of "you don't want to do it like that" put it's oar in...until I realised that even my brilliant mother wasn't born perfect and had maybe even shed, just one, tear of frustration over a hot sewing machine in the early days of her efforts. Demon's battled, I packed away Lotta's dress and will when the time is right, unpick it (AGAIN) and recut the pattern and by golly when that new dress is finished woe betide any little girl who tries to remove it from that doll.

I thought I'd be out of luck, ideas and time for December as plans for salt dough ornaments, fig and date relish and home made cards came and went (well I did manage two but today I have made my thank you cards - little toddler finger prints for rudolph's nose - and a new baby one,for a boxing day addition to our world.

So I come in just before the bell and need to get thinking about what January's challenge may be...

From one home to another...

2010-11-07T19:13:00.005Z

The Dowager Duchess of Devonshire, or Debo as her friends call her, has a saying about those who take up posts at Chatsworth. They stay "a fortnight or forever".

Her insight that makes my skin prickle as we, having fallen into the former camp, are now preparing to leave.

England's foremost stately home is amazing not least because of it's size and splendour but also because of it's democratic friendliness. It throws wide it's arms and welcomes all young and old, human, canine, equestrian and seems genuinely thrilled that so many do indeed enter it's gates.

Today we went for a final walk in the gardens, they are incredible. Kept by a comparatively small team there is something astounding at almost every turn whether an interesting planting combination - pampas grass, monkey puzzle trees and variagated holly in one stunning area - or an outlandish sculpture.

The Duke and Duchess have been wonderful employers too. They are thoroughly interested in the commercial side of the estate and it's employees and their generous enthusiasm has made it a lovely place to be associated with.

I will relinquish my estate pass with great sadness and look forward to visits in the future, queuing up to get in with so many eager to experience this great place.

Foodie findings...

2010-11-01T13:43:00.000Z

It's funny how sometimes you find a scrumptious surprise in an unexpected place and the next minute it's all over the place. Salt caramel is one such thing. I stumbled across salt fudge a while ago and cannot get enough of it whether in cookies or ice cream or just as is. Now it seems to be widely infiltrating the high street with possibly the best use in M&S's wicked pecan and salt caramel tart with belgium chocolate. The latter seems to be rather over-egging the pudding but I suspect I'll survive, IF I ever get to try it that is. My two local stores haven't had any, despite it being the grand finale of their recent tv ad campaign. Tish tish!

Whitley Neill is my top gin tip, if you like yours citrus-sweet and very smooth, yummy!I can't believe how many different characteristics you can find in this one spirit and there are some delicious ones on the market but this is definitely my fav.

Cre-ate-if...

2010-08-27T20:04:00.001+01:00

Feeling like I'm just getting my head back round this thing called life, I've noted the important part my garden has played in my therapy. Not just the fresh air and switching off or even the achievement but just the excitement of trying something new.

For this reason I decided to aim for 12 new things in the next 12 months and we'll see how we go...

I'm counting number one starting in June with Eldeflower Cordial, I've always wanted to try making it and this year with a tree just a few strides from the house and an encouraging neighbour I had a go. It was incredible. I used Sarah Raven's fruity recipe which was brilliantly simple and lasted really well

The veggie patch is number two. I had a largely unloved and really quite unproductive allotment in London but my timber raised beds are a whole new ball game. I've grown new things in a completely new way and was not prepared for the results, we didn't buy fresh veg or salad all summer as we had more than we new what to do with and I suspect winter would have been pretty good two had we not had to quit whilst we were ahead.

In August, overwhelmed by the mass of courgettes my two plants were knocking out I made "Gluttney", Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall's humorous pickle. I've never attempted jam or the like and have been delighted by this sweet-savoury relish so much that I've even given my first home made presents!

I wonder what joys the following months will hold?!

degrees of seperation between rhymes...or some silliness

2010-02-25T10:52:00.008Z

When wondering what Lent has meant
I thought it's maybe like rent
paying for what was spent on my salvation.
It's a space where my pent up soul can expand,
holy ground just passing,like a moment on a mountain not demanding a tent.
It's enough maybe to dent our quotidian walls,
a window for light and for love.
Like a memory sent of colour and glass
and a sacred moment in a church down in Kent.

Longing for spring

2010-02-25T10:32:00.003Z

Outside all is snow and fog
a world obscured.
These winter days have white-washed my heart too
It should be dancing
But it lost it's shoes

Nibbling...

2010-01-14T11:19:00.003Z

I don't know who said the cold burns extra calories but that's not what my jeans tell me!

The need for carbs though is stronger for ever as comfort eating becomes the only way to survive as I look out on endless whiteness; snow, freezing fog, ice - not much to inspire the eyes so the tongue has to be tantalised instead!!

So this morning I made Cheese Pastry Sticks from Cooking for Coco by Sian Blunos.

100g cream cheese
100g butter
100g plain flour

She says mix the ingredients together until it resembles course bread crumbs then bring them together into a ball and chill over night or for a few hours at least.

Although 100g of flour should have been enough to cope with the cheese and butter, mine was very wet and bread crumb effect was far off. I put a load of extra flour in (after scrounging some from the neighbour) and it became a slightly sticky, quite solid ball.

Unperturbed I put it in the fridge overnight and rolled it out successfully, cutting it into little stars before egg-washing it and baking on 230C for 10 mins.

They are lovely, though could do with seasoning. Sian also suggests poppy, carraway (yuk) or seasame seeds which would be delicious but not so good for blossom at this stage. However I think some grain mustard or maybe even flavoured cream cheese might work too.

First time I've done some baking for ages, and it worked, brilliant!

Poetry please...

2010-01-12T16:55:00.007Z

"Poetry is the music of being human"

So says Poet Laureate, Carol Ann Duffy in last Sunday's Songs Of Praise. I just love that description, it ties in to my ongoing fascination with the ordinary being a dwelling place of something 'other'.

For words are indeed musical and also magical and it's the enchanting that is often beautifully brought alive in poems.

Carol Ann's poem Prayer (echoing that by George Herbert) does just that for me, it's the perfect explanation of God being in the very fabric of our existance, again it's the mystical in the everyday...

Prayer (1993)

Some days, although we cannot pray, a prayer
utters itself. So, a woman will lift
her head from the sieve of her hands and stare
at the minims sung by a tree, a sudden gift.

Some nights, although we are faithless, the truth
enters our hearts, that small familiar pain;
then a man will stand stock-still, hearing his youth
in the distant Latin chanting of a train.

Pray for us now. Grade I piano scales
console the lodger looking out across
a Midlands town. Then dusk, and someone calls
a child's name as though they named their loss.

Darkness outside. Inside, the radio's prayer -
Rockall. Malin. Dogger. Finisterre.

I wonder what are the unformed prayers of our days, what sounds make up the music of our humanness?

Maybe that's something to attend to for another post...

Something 'extra'...

2010-01-05T09:16:00.004Z

11 months ago I did something extraordinary, I gave birth to a baby girl. What followed has undoubtedly been an incredible adventure, filled with almost-daily miracles but at the same time the ordinary is larger than ever and how to deal with it is a big question for this year, and my sanity.

The routine of motherhood, of living in windows of free time is challenging. Like writing this blog post, I can only do it now because Blossom has finally on the third attempt gone to sleep. How do I make those windows count, without exhausting myself and with still achieving all the hum drum must-do's like cleaning, washing etc. How do I handle the guilt I put on myself if I spend my small parcel of free time reading a magazine or online as it doesn't seem a substantial achievement for my day?

Thinking about this as the snow pours out of the sky is also interesting, here is extraordinary weather which results in us being stuck inside the house, stuck with the ordinary.

I wonder if this collocation always follows? Perhaps that's a clue to the answer to this question.

Perhaps the extraordinary is closer to the ordinary than we think?

And prize for the biggest meany goes to...

2009-08-24T21:32:00.002+01:00

Royal Mail!

Can't believe they've developed stamps that can't be peeled off and reused!! That was one of life's bonuses, like finding a tenner in the back pocket of your jeans, now it's been mercilessly taken from us. I really can't believe that many escape the franking machines and survive the furtive peeling-off exercise, surely their profits can't be suffering that much.

But they have gone and developed little cuts in the body of the stamp that make it impossible to peel it off in entirety from one direction...that's soooooo tight.

Boooo, booo, booo. Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Simple Pleasures

2009-06-11T09:39:00.005+01:00

Last week I missed out on a picnic of tea and cake on Stewkley rec. It was a gorgeous blue sky, sunny day and the thought of hanging out with friends was really appealing. It struck me how just tea and cake has been come a real ritual for this group and is the setting for sharing, much love and laughter. It made me think about the pleasure of simple things, following on from my carpet thanks giving.

On the same morning I saw a poppy growing out of the crack between curb stones, it's yellow pollen matching the double yellow lines. I was in too much of a rush to take a photo but just to notice it's brief quirky appearance was a gift. Another simple pleasure. The daisy above and miniature iris have self seeded in my back yard and today I had time to take a photo.

This all reminded me of a song on the theme by brilliant band Dolly Varden, one of the simple pleasures from my old job!

Simple Pleasure - Dolly Varden

It's nifty to be thrifty

2009-06-10T23:26:00.000+01:00

Just watched River Cottage on Channel 4 plus one (I so take back what I said about a channel solely playing the same schedule at a later time being rubbish, I live there now bedtime always clashes!!).

It was left overs night at the restaurant and Hugh and Tim came up with a host of inventive dishes. It was funny because I'd just been thinking about being thrifty as i made a stock out of my asparagus ends, carrot peelings and parsley stalks, amongst other things. I can't bear to throw food away and I love the promise of stock that out of waste comes something delicious and unexpected, whether a soup or risotto.

I'm reading Life with God by Richard Foster at the moment and he's just been talking about spiritual discipline and exercises and he lists frugality as such a thing. I'd never thought about it in that sense but I totally see it. Being creative should be a hall mark of faith, as is gratitude for and nurturing of resources and it's amazing what a sense of achievement I get out of making the most of things, or at least trying. Like Hugh at River Cottage I'm determined to honor the growth of food, whether meat of veg or grain by doing it full service.

I guess Kirsty's Home Made Home bought into this with all the digging in skips and rooting round antique shops and reclamation yards. It's amazing how snobbish we can be about 'junk' if we're not looking at it creatively. It's great to think too that the tide may be turning and rather than throwing things away at the drop of a hat we might really start to buy items for keeps, re-use and truly recycle.

On that theme I've just taken charge of real, cloth nappies. Blossom will be the third or fourth baby in some of them, which seems very sustainable. It's always hard to know with the energy versus landfill argument, especially as we've been using biodegradable, non-chlorine bleach, non plastic disposables to date. But I guess we'll still do a mix of both.

Hugh also examined bread, with all it's dodgy additives, that alongside not being able to find a decent loaf these days has me itching to try making my own but I'm not sure if I've got the staying power to get beyond the brick phase. Never was very good at practice makes perfect but who knows...

Something in reserve?

2009-05-21T22:34:00.004+01:00

Tonight I met with a great friend, when we parted a song came into my mind that I hadn't heard for years. My heart often forms prayers for people that way.

It had been a really busy day with loads of visitors and as I cleared up a mountain of washing up and a chaotic house, there was something reassuringly therapeutic about restoring order and something peaceful about the methodical washing, drying and wiping, collecting, folding and tidying. It was a very spiritual calm and taking the washing off the line in the fading light it felt like tidying the day away and putting all that had been to bed. You know that feeling of having had a gloriously full day and collapsing into bed exhausted but buzzing? Kind of like that.

Then we had a powercut.

Thankfully I'd restored order and had settled down to surf the web so no real harm done. I lit a few candles and got out our super powerful torch to read by but it lasted about 3 minutes before dying. How typical! The only time we've needed to use it and it had no charge left.

I thought about that as a somewhat cheesy metaphor for faith, I could just imagine it in a less than subtle sermon "are your batteries charged enough to give you light in the darkness?!" I guess the thought occurred to me after my previous thankfulness for that song.

And it led me to wonder what I've read or listened to recently that might become useful in future? And I felt a lack of anything sustaining. In fact I'd been bemoaning an absence of anything uplifting or happy to read to Auntie Flower recently. Whilst I've read some great books, fascinating writing, it's all been a bit doom-laden and whilst that has it's place, it can all too easily lead to unhelpful navel gazing, false comparisons and negativity if one's not careful.

Mulling all this over tonight I was reminded of the words from Romans...

Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind ...

I love it when I either make the effort to search out those things, people or experiences that enable me to find that renewal or when I'm able to just stop with God in order to let him change something in me or show me something new in Him.

Tonight in the garden after bagging the washing I stood listening to the evenings activity and giving thanks for all the thinking, conversations and experiences that had happened in this house. I'll be sad to leave it's been such a special home but I know I've received a wealth of reserves here that will power me up for whatever the future holds.

Thanks

2009-05-20T20:25:00.000+01:00

Thanks to the friend who recently reminded me to take off my slippers, feel the carpet beneath my feet and give thanks.

Simple Supper

2009-05-19T11:31:00.002+01:00

Have been making a conscious effort to try some new recipes again, after falling back into the same old ruts and the Mighty W came up with this brilliantly easy recipe on one of it's recent pamphlets...

Salmon Teriyaki with Tenderstem Broccoli

4 tbsp Teriyaki Paste
1 tbsp Chilli Paste
2 Salmon fillets
4 tbsp Vegetable Oil
200g Tenderstem Broccoli

1. In a shallow dish mix together the teriyaki paste and half the chilli. Add the salmon fillets, turn to coat in the mixture and leave to marinate for 10 minutes
2.Heat half the oil in a frying pan over a medium heat. When pan is hot, add the salmon skin side down and cook for 2-3 minutes until deep golden. Then turn over and cook for another 2-3 minutes or until the fish is cooked through. Add the marinade and bubble for 30 seconds.Set aside.
3. Meanwhile heat the remaining veg oil, add the remaining chilli paste and broccoli and 3 tbsp of water and stir fry for 3 minutes or until al dente. Serve with the salmon, sauce and steamed rice.

Thoughts...

To make it even easier you could just steam the brocolli and not worry about frying it with the chilli. We used mixed basmati and wild rice which gives great texture and flavour. The salmon is also great topping a vegetable and noodle stir fry!

Enjoy...

Noticing...

2009-05-18T13:10:00.000+01:00

A long while back I spent a while trying to be conscious of God in the ordinary bits of my job, I just came across to reflections I wrote as a result and thought they may resonate with some of you youthworkers out there...

Locking up

With the turn of a key, I am alone in the darkness.
The chill air stings my cheeks still flushed from the chatter, the games and the sugar.
My breath is silver against the night.
Breath of life,
Given by You.
Breathe life into all who have just left this place,
Breathe into them possibility and life unfolding.
Breath of life,
Breathe life into me again.
Fill this tired body, weary mind and anxious heart.
Breathe life into me again,
Here in the darkness,
Finally alone.

Diary

People, places, times and venues
Days filled, hours crammed, minutes packed
Where are You on these pages,
You who holds forever?

You are in the blanks and the lines and the full stops.

Teach me to seek you out underneath and in between these inky distractions.
To pause before each new entry and acknowledge your presence,
in all, through all and for all.

13 weeks

2009-05-12T10:50:00.004+01:00

Blossom is 13 weeks old and it's incredible how she's no longer a baby...I mean of course she is but that initial distant, dependent stage seemed to be over so quickly.

Johnson and Johnson have a sickly ad that says "when a baby is born so is a mother" and once I finished wretching I had to admit this is in many ways true. Although my maternal powers existed long before she did, thanks to experience of caring for younger siblings and a team of younger work colleagues who I seemed determined to mother!

But it is interesting how your frame of reference grows along with a child and also how you re-access your childhood. The other day I found myself singing to her,

Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so, little ones to him belong, they are weak but he is strong. Yes Jesus loves me, yes Jesus loves me, yes Jesus loves me the bible tells me so.

I wasn't really sure where it came from or how a knew it growing up in a largely non religious household. (Turns out it was my Mum, funny the hope "God bless" was also uttered every night as the bedroom door was closed, religious no, spiritual yes).

It reminded me of an amazing seminar I attended by Kenda Creasy Dean, author of The Godbearing Life. It was all about adolescence and how we form our identity and how people around us influence that. It was also looking at how we walk with teenagers through that to best help them find community, creed, hope and ultimately through these things faith. She started one of the sessions getting us to think about our experience of teen age and how we felt about ourselves, with all our insecurities, hopes, longings, fears and experimenting and she got us to sing that song from that place.

The power of that truth; that we are loved even in the midst of the shifting sands of our becoming was immense and is still with me ... I hope I can have the grace to share that gift with my little one, both when she is weak and strong.

Let them eat cake...

2009-02-05T15:35:00.005Z

Just made some chocolate brownies from my Aussie neighbour's recipe, perfect with a cup of tea after coming in from the snow!!

Melt 185g dark chocolate and 125g of butter together
Stir in 1 cup of sugar and 2 eggs (one at a time)
Fold in 1 cup of plain flour and 1 cup of chopped walnuts (I used mixed fruit and nuts as it was all the cupboard provided!)
Cook at 180/gas mark 5 for 30 minutes

To be really naughty ice with...

Mix 2 cups of icing sugar with 2 tbsp cocoa
Melt 1 tbsp of butter and add, along with milk, to the above until you get the right consistency.

Yum!

The poetic version

2009-01-27T12:37:00.009Z

You're by Sylvia Plath

Clownlike, happiest on your hands
Feet to the stars, and moon-skulled
Gilled like a fish. A common-sense
Thumbs-down on the dodo's mode.
Wrapped up in yourself like a spool,
Trawling your dark as owls do.
Mute as a turnip from the Fourth
Of July to All Fool's Day,
O high-riser, my little loaf.

Vague as fog and looked for like mail.
Father off than Australia.
Bent-backed Atlas, our traveled prawn.
Snug as a bud at home
Like a sprat in a pickle jug.
A creel of eels, all ripples.
Jumpy as a Mexican bean.
Right, like a well-done sum.
A clean slate, with your own face on.

Today's the day...

2009-01-27T12:06:00.002Z

that our little Sprout is due. But I don't think he or she has any intention of arriving just yet.

Talking to Mum earlier we were reflecting on how quickly you forget the experience of pregnancy and although several people have asked if I was keeping a journal I've found it really hard to commit any thoughts about the process to paper.

In some ways I've been unwillingly superstitious after miscarrying last time, not wanting to create anything that may out-last this baby but recently I've come to a place where I think I can accept the pregnancy for what it is as a complete experience in and of itself now, before I even get onto thinking about life with my child.

I've been so well, a tiny bit of nausea and overwhelming tierdness early on but nothing more than that. In the last weeks I have the trade mark swollen ankles and am starting to feel like I am shrinking or at least am now as wide as I am tall.

I have loved the timetable that Sprout has kept, springing to life each night as my head touches the pillow and how it's striking a flamenco pose - one had by its head beating my bladder and two feet stamping by my ribs - and dancing earned it the name Ernest Fandango.

I have loved everyone's hopes, dreams and opinions on this child, how my half brothers and sisters named it Sedgley (?!) in a moment of familial madness and are almost bursting for it's arrival.

Reading up about it's development; a heart as tiny as a poppy seed beating at 6 weeks, seeing it yawn during a scan and taking turns to poke each other through my stomach.

It aches to think of those who couldn't wait on this earth to meet this new member of the family and intrigues me to see in what ways this child will carry their story on.

My waist measurement is 42 inches, I have no idea what I weigh. My hair and skin have been in amazing condition throughout, with no stretchmarks! I've been swimming every week, walking most days of maternity leave. Haven't craved anything to the point of having to have it but crisps, MacDonald's (yea gads), coca cola, sherry and everything I shouldn't eat (blue cheese, smoked salmon etc) have seemed awfully appealing. I went off coffee, tea and wine for two thirds of the ride but am now happily imbibing all three - in moderation of course.

Wierdest experience, heightened sense of smell. I swear I could have worked for the drugs squad in my first trimester, it was the most bizarre thing and not always pleasant

Will I miss life with a bump? Definitely. I'm wondering whether it will feel lonely for a while without an on-board friend.

Am I ready to give birth? Nature is a wonderful thing getting you to just that point of being so uncomfortable that you're ready to take delivery of this miraculous package.

Looks like I'm not alone...

2008-12-24T04:13:00.005Z

As I've often said I love Simply Simon blog, always wisdom and solace and far better writing than I could ever hope to achieve! He posted this tonight...

just an angel

It’s the day before the day before Christmas, and it’s all ho-hum. To be honest, I feel less prepared for this celebration of Christ’s birth than I have for a long time. The anticipation that’s meant to mark the Advent season has drifted by, unnoticed. Busyness, weariness, lack of intention … despite my pastor’s best efforts to prepare me for the wonder of Incarnation, I’ve been a lousy congregant. Sorry Carolyn.

But then, as I walked home from work this afternoon, I noticed something. In the window of one of the old terrace homes that line my street is a Christmas tree. Nothing unusual about that; such things are a standard feature in house after house--elaborately decorated, colour coordinated, with fairy lights perfectly balanced top to bottom, left to right.

This one is different though. Awkward looking, slanted, no lights and empty apart from one porcelain angel dangling off centre, in solitude. I stared for a moment. It was odd, yet beautiful: no tinsel, no baubles, no flashing lights, just one off-centred angel, alone.

One of the most important books of the late 90s for me was Dale Allison’s The Silence of Angels. It was significant because it helped me to articulate what I had long intuited: that rapid advancements in technology and science have sometimes dulled our ability to discern transcendence and experience wonder in the everyday. Amidst the clutter and rationality of our demystified and explained lives, we’ve silenced the angels.

According to Allison, technological development has (i) eradicated silence, (ii) defeated any concept of darkness, and (iii) proliferated visual stimuli in every corner of our lives. Consequently, we’re losing the ability to hear, to see or to experience transcendence in the ordinariness of our days.

As I sit here at the window, the night before the night before Christmas, I can see a sparrow sifting through the mulch on my garden. From there it flies up into the shrub that fronts our house, with the twilight sky behind it. One bird, one angel, one child: the ho-hum is perhaps more sacred than I thought.

Week 35

2008-12-24T03:25:00.003Z

Auntie Flower pointed out to me that this year I am living my own advent ... we are in our 36th week of pregnancy which amongst other things may developmentally mean

"he/she now weighs about 5.25 pounds/ 2.4 kilograms and measures approximately 18 inches/ 45 centimetres from head to toe. His/her elbow, foot or head may protrude from your stomach when he stretches and squirms about. (Sure does!) Soon, as the wall of your uterus and your abdomen stretch thinner and let in more light, your baby will begin to develop daily activity cycles.

This week, your little one is now sporting fingernails and has a fully developed pair of kidneys. His liver can also process some waste products.

There's much less amniotic fluid and much more baby in your uterus, which has expanded to a thousand times its original size".

What a miracle happening inside of me and yet has this mystery placed a different spin on the advent story for me? Truth is I don't know an advent when I've had a more church-less, God-less experience. Actually between work, visiting and hosting friends, preaching elsewhere and just being exhausted by life that's pretty much been my year. I certainly haven't set foot inside All Saints since October and the thought of this afternoons Christingle is really exciting (not least because it's a service I love).

At the beginning of advent our vicar sent out this challenge...

"Advent is a time of preparation, of recognising the signs of our failures and setting our lives back on course as we prepare to celebrate the birthday of our brother Jesus.

Bill Hybels famously said: ‘The local church is the hope of the world.’ Our Anglican churches attract only 1% of the population on an average Sunday (maybe 3% if all the Christian churches are lumped together).

Advent is also about waking up to the signs of the times. Jesus went on at length about this. The signs seem to be that people see our ‘churches’ as hopeless rather than a source of hope.

So perhaps the times have arrived for us to set our churches back on course. (church = you and me, the church communities and how we express our faith when we are together and when we are ‘in the world’). The big question is ‘how?’

Do we know what are goals are? Are we just trying to survive? That doesn’t seem to me to be what Jesus meant when he commissioned us to go and make disciples of all nations.

Imagine this: If we as Christians were arriving in our villages for the first time this December 2008 what would we do and how would we be ‘church?"

I haven't really given much time to this brilliant question but tonight I think Jesus would be less interested in what we did and more in how we did it. How we love each other.

My home group leaders have given me calls to let me know their schedule this term even though they knew I couldn't make it, which is great but no one has called to see how or where I am which makes me a little sad. Not being in church regularly is one of my failures this year, (going back to Derek's opening statement) back in January I committed to being there at least once a month to enable me to someway be connected to the life of what happens there and to the wonderful people walking this journey together. That is my advent challenge, a day and a half is left and I want to think about what our church looks like and where I am in the picture, what I can give (and I don't just mean by doing more but by being more creative with what I do maybe). I certainly don't want to be just a consumer. How could I have handled my absence better, would it have been possible to keep in touch more? If I couldn't be there in body what about in spirit - have I been praying for all that happens there?

I wonder in answer to that challenge if we get better at looking after the church we have maybe that will be the best way to have a useful church for the future.

I pray in the services that I go to over the next two days that the lessons I need to learn will be really clear, in the carols, readings and community. At this point in time the final verse of In the Bleak Mid Winter (my favourite carol) seem really appropriate... and a great way to get back on course.

What can I give Him poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd I would bring a lamb.
If I were a wise man I would do my part.
Yet what can I give him?
Give my heart.

See Me

2008-12-16T16:56:00.003Z

Last week saw the opening of LCET's latest art exhibition and if the chaos on the day before was anything to go by it's just as well they only happen every couple of years!!

The finished gallery - a former estate agents on the high street - was awesome though and it got some really good press coverage and more importantly about 300 (or more) visitors through the door.

The work - photos, instalations and audio - was all the work of around 9 kids we work with, not to mention the amazing Carter and Turner. Hearing the experiences of young people is always powerful, it was a great way to honour their request to be seen and as there was such great feed back from Social services hopefully this will improve their experience of the whole system.

Nice work LCET!

Maternity leave

2008-12-16T16:42:00.004Z

Well I've been off work for two whole weeks and so far am pretty unable to stay away! Not least because I wanted to help out with the amazing See Me exhibition about children in care and then I foolishly offered to copy 300 cds of The God Man, the song our kids wrote at summer camp. We're sending it out as a Christmas card to our supporters.

It's amazing to see what non-Christian, un-churched kids made of God's story - we gave them the first verse they wrote the rest of the lyrics...pretty cool. It was recorded in our basement, no expense spent, Holy Joely's done a great job though, especially with the tuning!!

The God Man - Joel and the summer camp kids

Current reading.

2008-10-29T09:51:00.003Z

It's been a phase for allegorical books recently. (Just had to check whether 'allegory 'was the right term, never let it be said my BA(Hons) in English was a waste of time!)

Our team book this term was The Shack which has been touted as a modern classic and called a modern day pilgrims progress. It seems a slightly odd premise for a story about the nature of God and to be honest I would normally give Christian literature a wide birth but this book was strangely compelling.

The story goes...

Mackenzie Allen Philips' youngest daughter, Missy, has been abducted during a family vacation and evidence that she may have been brutally murdered is found in an abandoned shack deep in the Oregon wilderness.
Four years later in the midst of his great sadness, Mack receives a suspicious note, apparently from God, inviting him back to that shack for a weekend. Against Mackenzie Allen Philips' better judgement he arrives at the shack on a wintry afternoon and walks back into his darkest nightmare.

The author does an incredible job of exploring the characteristics of God, putting that into words has to be a real challenge, after all it's often untangible and I guess different for all of us. But here there is something so familiar and beautiful, it really is heart warming but also incredibly challenging. How can you forgive the unforgivable, what kind of life change needs to happen to make that possible?

It leaves you feeling as if you've glimpsed a deeper meaning about this old thing called life. It also debunks a lot of the rubbish that comes with religion and get's straight to the heart of what it's liked to be loved.

I wanted to hate it, I now want to re-read it!

The second book I started last night was called Hind's feet in High Places and was a leaving gift from lovely Gingerkidjoe. Written in the 50's by a palestinian Nun it is the journey of Much-Afraid to find herself as God see's her and to freedom. I haven't got very far and it seems quite old fashioned stylistically, which is taking some getting used to but there's already been some wonderful passages.

This is my favourite to date...

"many a quiet, ordinary, and hidden life, unknown to the world, is a veritable garden in which Love's flowers and fruits have come to such perfection that it is a place of delight where the King of Love Himself walks and rejoices with his friends."

You

2008-10-29T09:49:00.003Z

You are unique.
There is no one else like you anywhere in the world.
No one can replace you.
Simply because you exist, you are special.

Chew on that.

September's post...or should have been!

2008-10-20T09:01:00.002+01:00

I was really excited to come back to work in September and no one was more surprised about that than me. Though I love the project with all my heart have found the last year really tough and have not found answers to questions about my role here.

But I was very excited and so much so I was in early to prepare for the new term and our first meeting as a new team. I'd planned a meeting to start with a prayer exercise about our feelings towards this term, as we were all in very different places, and it made me laugh as I sat at my desk untangling a pile of pipe-cleaners that were to become our mode of expression.

How typical of work at LCET and how lucky am I to be able to 'work' in such a playful way?! It seemed comforting to be sorting out and ordering as my first task, I hope this years experience will be much more like the finished pile, as last years seemed a bit like the former and we're still straightening out the tangle.

Food glorious food...or the longest lunch ever

2008-09-24T18:08:00.000+01:00

Caught up with boss, Rg for lunch today.She's going to retake the reigns of the chaplaincy team while I'm off, having handed them to me when she was on maternity leave all very cyclical!

We went to Zza Zza's pizza place in town. It's a nice place that always scares me slightly since I saw the colour of the chefs once white apron and because one minute you see him making dough the next smoking a fag outside. But I have never actually been ill, despite feeling a bit queezy after most lunches!

We ordered pizza and once it came both thought it was overly salty, so plucked up courage to throw off our niceness and send it back. There was some story about two of the workers having salted the dough (too many or not enough cooks???) and after another 20 minutes more pizza arrived, still somewhat highly seasoned! We decided just to eat it as time was at a premium and when offered a free drink we accepted gratefully.

The pizza is huge and I had about a third unfinished and the waitress offered to package it up for me to go. She took it through to the kitchen and as she turned to get a box the chef threw it away! That would have been fine except that he then insisted on making me a new one...by this time 2 o'clock had been and gone and it was beginning to look unlikely that we'd ever get back to the office but it was such a nice gesture and his refusal to take no for an answer meant we spent a further, somewhat bemused 20 minutes waiting for it.

Thankfully the fun factor when it arrived made up for it...my own heart shaped pizza, charmers those Italians! And it was a good tale to tell at the office, not to mention the workers appreciating the food!

Relearning (again) intimacy with God...

2008-08-20T16:33:00.003+01:00

Just back from 3 weeks off and really aware that I shut down a bit during that time, not least because of grief (having lost our wonderful Nan and Grandma in the same week), exhaustion (completion of another school year and summer camp)and a degree of uncertainty (finding myself pregnant again after a miscarriage just a month and a half before).

I was also berating myself from having switched off from God too, not having been to church since heaven knows when (not that heaven's keeping a record)not reading or feeling particularly open to things spiritual then I read an interesting post from Simply Simon quoting an old Christianity Today article by Eugene Peterson and I think it really rings true for me and my good evangelical background...

Interviewer: "Many people assume that spirituality is about becoming emotionally intimate with God".

"That’s a naive view of spirituality. What we’re talking about is the Christian life. It’s following Jesus. Spirituality is no different from what we’ve been doing for two thousand years just by going to church and receiving the sacraments, being baptized, learning to pray, and reading Scriptures rightly. It’s just ordinary stuff.

This promise of intimacy is both right and wrong. There is an intimacy with God, but it’s like any other intimacy; it’s part of the fabric of your life. In marriage you don’t feel intimate most of the time. Nor with a friend. Intimacy isn’t primarily a mystical emotion. It’s a way of life, a life of openness, honesty, a certain transparency".

I think it's in those moments of shutting down that we're sometime most aware of God (maybe in hind sight)as the fabric of our lives, when we're fully living each moment or feeling most alive we can forget that weft and warp, as that's when we're busy embroidering our pattern on top.

We're "having a baby"!

2008-08-19T15:07:00.000+01:00

I'm not sure why that phrase is in my head in a scratchy northern accent a la Jonny Vegas but I'm sure there's an old comedy sketch burried in my brain somewhere!! Answers on a postcard to...

But a joke this is not, we are now gloriously 17 weeks pregnant and our little foetus is as big as an avocado!!

The great news - in the light of my previous miscarriage and losing our two remaining grandparents - has been really special but understandably maybe it's taken ages to sink in. Hearing it's heart beat at my last doctors appointment made it all a little more real, as did realising that we're already heading to half way through the pregnancy - scary!!

Ever since that appointment I've had the lyrics of the Iona song "No Heart Beats Like Your Heart" in my head, I love to think that we're all - past, present and future - part of God's great heart beat!

"No heart beats like Your heart keeping me in time
No hand as warm as Your hand holding onto mine
No eyes can see through me
No smile ever drew me like Yours

No voice like Your voice can calm my fears
And no prayers like Your prayers can move me to tears
And no arm around me
Can fully surround me like Yours"

Goodbye Nan

2008-07-22T11:06:00.003+01:00

One of the brightest lights in my life went out last night. After almost a week of struggling, Nan finally passed away as Dad read the Psalms to her.

As I wandered round the dark house I imagined her flying through the nights sky, breaking off bits of stars as though they were glacier mints and laughing at the sheer wonder of it all...she was always one for life, even in death it transpires.

I can't even begin to contemplate what life will be like without her, except that I know she'll always be a part of it because she dwells so richly in us...all that life and light cannot be put out.

Some people may think this poem is twee, I like it. God bless you Nan.

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.

Food, Frivolity and Fun

2008-05-29T18:05:00.002+01:00

Mr Flower and Myself aren't really ones for television, except maybe with a curry and beer at the end of a really hard day but recently we've stumbled on a totally engrossing programme that combines shows such as Ready Steady Cook, I'm a Celebrity, the 1900 House and Supersize Me.

"The Supersizers Go..." see's (lovely)Restaurant critic, Giles Coren and writer and performer Sue Perkins try the food of different periods whilst emersed in that age with everything from wigs to clothes and work to passtimes.

This week saw them head for "Restoration Britain in the 1660s, a time of fire and plague. They both don wigs, with Giles in tight breeches and Sue in wide skirts. They snack on coxcombs, eel pie and copious amounts of small beer".

It's fascinating to view our gastronomic and cultural history so playfully bought to life. Watching Coren and Perkins trying some of the most gross looking dishes is hysterical; kind of repulsive and riveting at the same time.

Having done Victoriana, and the 17th Century they head for the 70's on Tuesday 10 June 9:00pm - 10:00pm onBBC2.

A slice of heaven on earth

2008-05-18T20:10:00.002+01:00

As the rain held off this weekend and we were actually at home, it meant we were able to get some of the much needed weeding and feeding done in the garden. It's such an exciting time with the plants growing practically as you watch and all the time you spend out there being rewarded with another bloom, a little more colour, height and reach. Ordering the jumble of ever expanding stems and leaves also does something to the soul, making space, reconnecting to creation and the creator. I love this time of year, it's already looking great and it's not even summer yet.

Trawling through my favourite blogs earlier this evening I came across this poem on Simply Simon

Dear God,
let us prepare for winter.
The sun has turned away from us
and the nest of summer hangs broken in a tree.
Life slips through our fingers
and, as darkness gathers, our hands grow cold.
It is time to go inside.
It is time for reflection and resonance.
It is time for contemplation.
Let us go inside.
Amen

Michael Leunig, A Common Prayer, Collins Dove, 1990.

In the first instance it seemed sad that just as we're rejoicing in coming outdoors and rediscovering the healing of sun on skin and life-giving breezes others are preparing to wrap up and put away...only fair though I guess and necessary for the amazing diversity of our planet.

Dear God,
let us prepare for summer.
The sun has turned towards us
and the nest of summer is woven in a tree.
Life grasps at our fingers
and, as light increases, our hands grow warm.
It is time to go outside.
It is time for activity and awareness.
It is time for exploration.
Let us go outside.
Amen

I have a good friend...

2008-05-18T19:38:00.005+01:00

...called Amy and every time I wash my face I think of her! Why? Well it's all because of a great new face wash I found.

Amie (Ok, so it's spelt different)is an all natural skin care range and as well as using yummy floral ingredients and essential oils, it's free from parabens, animal extracts or any ingredients of genetically modified origin.The packaging is also 100% recyclable and they're made locally in the UK.And if all that seems too good to be true it gets even better as it's sold on the high street for really competitive prices, more mainstream than top-end organic.

In fact the only problem I had with these products is their slogan "purely for young skin", it left me in quite a dilemma as I'm not sure if thirty-something counts as 'young'. And I wondered what could go wrong if you used it when you were outside that ambiguous age bracket? Then on a recent shopping trip to my beloved Waitrose, I overheard an assistant telling a customer how the stores own-brand "baby's bottom cream" had sold out nationally after a beauty journal recommended it as a face moisturiser! With this in mind I decided my visage could cope with something for the teen market and am now slapping it on, with great results.

At the beginning of the year I decided to consciously try to cut back on synthetics and chemicals such as parabens after reading Janey Lee Grace's Imperfectly Natural Woman. She writes "the Ecologist listed all the common ingredients in many skin care products including: dimethicone,ethylhexyl salicylate, disodium EDTA, ethylparaben, propylparaben preservatives and parfum. All of the above can cause skin irritation; some have hormone disrupting potential, alter skin structure and allow cheminals to penetrate the blood stream and, in the case of the preservatives, have been known to mimic oestogen and been linked to breast cancer". Such information may be from largely small scale investigations but I decided I have enough problems with my own hormones thanks and I'd rather not risk it! Besides new products that are full of goodies at great prices, like Amie and Daniel Galvin Junior Hair Products, means there's no need.

Inspired to iron!!

2008-05-18T19:31:00.003+01:00

Gunilla Norris might have been illuminating the holier aspects of housework to me recently but a new purchase has actually inspired me 'to iron'.

Sad it may be but I would like to take a few moments to wax lyrical about the Tefal Express Steam Generator Iron! Yes they are a piggy bank job at about 6 times more expensive than a normal iron BUT they get the ironing done about 6 times faster. It really is incredible, you only have to iron things on one side and both sides get done, bedding and tea towels can be folded up and just have their top surface done and they're pressed right through.

Mum's had one for ages and the cost had really put us off but it was every penny well spent...I love ironing (almost)!!

Long in the tooth?

2008-04-17T19:09:00.002+01:00

I noticed recently Mr Flower and I have both taken to sitting down on the edge of the bath whilst cleaning our teeth, does this mean we're taking a more chilled approach to life or we're just getting old?

Washing on the line

2008-04-11T18:06:00.001+01:00

Washing on the line 3
Originally uploaded by redhairedpixie

Hanging Out the Clothes - Gunilla Norris

As I hang up the clothes let me think
about what it means to be "on the line"
It may not be about courage or bravery
or intention. It may not be about social action,
good works or justice. It may be
something before that, something much earlier
more simple and humbling.

It may just be clinging for dear life.

I pin these wet clothes to the line...
an image of joining, of clinging to something.
If I really know that You are my lifeline
then to cling to You is my primary business.

There are so many spiritual traps
if i am the one who puts me on the line.
Instead, let me be simpler, let me just cling to You.

Then all other lines in my life fall in place:
the line of duty, the line of business
the line of poetry, the firing line.
Please help me to cling so tenaciously
that I find myself in line with You -
aired out and shaken.

Routine

2008-04-11T16:31:00.002+01:00

It's been a disquieting start to 2008, which is probably why I haven't blogged till now. After a period of much doing, relating, change and talking it's seemed necessary just to stop, listen, watch and feel.

It's been interesting to notice what things bring peace, comfort and joy and the routine of 'being home' is definitely one of those. Wicked et al bought me the book of the same name for my birthday. It's full of meditations on daily chores and fits right in with my life-long quest to find God in the ordinary.

Today it was windy and bright enough to put washing on the line and have it really dry, the breath of fresh air that the laundry's getting feels like a breath of fresh air for life and I'm starting to breathe it in.

Spring has sprung

2008-04-11T16:22:00.001+01:00

Anemone blanda
Originally uploaded by multiflora

Last Easter, Auntie Flower gave us a little pink basket containing an anemone blanda, it was very pretty and in due course I popped it under the holly tree in the garden and forgot about it.

They are now all over the this shallow and somewhat problematic end bed and are the sweetest flowers ever! In the sun they stretch out their petals and tip their faces to the sun, as the light fades or when rain comes they fold them self up tight to weather the storm.

Ok, Ok... I hear ya!

2008-04-09T11:55:00.002+01:00

The following comment by Tom made me laugh so much I decided it deserved a space of it's own and would maybe, along with all the other comments and fears the Royal Society for the Protection of Blogs might be after me, get me blogging again...no promises tho ;-)

Tom: Hello Lillies Blog...

Blog: Hello T-Dog! Whats up?

Tom: Well aren't you lonely and feeling bereft of Lillie's knowledge - I mean she posted nearly every day in December!

Blog: I know, and I was so happy, my page was filled with so many wise words. But now I feel empty and alone.

Tom: I hear she blogs on www.schoolswork.co.uk

Blog: She does?!

Tom: Yes little blog. It appears she may have abandoned you and her loyal readers

Blog: What shall we do Mr Tom

Tom: Only thing we can Mr Blog. Cry and wail until she hears...

Tom & Blog: LLLLLLIIIIIIIILLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE

25 Advent

2007-12-25T10:43:00.000Z

skin
Originally uploaded by Tasi_(forca)

Extract from Christmas by Sir John Betejamin

And is it true? and is it true?
The most tremendous tale of all,
Seen in a stained-glass window's hue,
A Baby in an ox's stall?
The Maker of the stars and sea
Become a Child on earth for me?

And is it true? For if it is,
No loving fingers tying strings
Around those tissued fripperies,
The sweet and silly Christmas things,
Bath salts and inexpensive scent
And hideous tie so kindly meant.

No love that in a family dwells,
No carolling in frosty air,
Nor all the steeple-shaking bells
Can with this single Truth compare -
That God was Man in Palestine
And lives to-day in Bread and Wine.
___________________________________

Joy to the world!
The Lord has come
let earth receive her king!
let every heart
prepare him room
let heaven and nature sing
let heaven and nature sing
let heaven, heaven and nature sing.

Joy to the world!
The savior reigns
your sweetest songs employ
while field and floods
rocks, hills and plains
repeat the sounding joy
repeat the sounding joy
repeat, repeat the sounding joy

He rules the world!
With truth and grace
and makes the nations prove
the glories of his righteousness
and wonders of his love
and wonders of his love
and wonders, wonders of his love.

Happy Christmas!

24 Advent

2007-12-24T10:32:00.000Z

So today is set to be the busiest shopping day of the season, forecasters are predicting we could spend 1 million pounds a minute!

Gladly all my shopping - though last minute this year - has been finished and wrapped for a day or so. I'm really pleased with my gifts; ideas came early in the most part, then it was just finding time to buy them and although a lot were on line I was not one of the unlucky one's still waiting for deliveries. But it has made me want to do next year differently, you have highstreet shops and nothing else round here, no arts or crafts, no unique or out of the ordinary so I'm going to be on a mission next year for the clever, the ethical, the artisan, the local and we'll see if that's one resolution that makes it!

Hearing all this financial craziness on the news this morning reminded me of one of my favourite prayers from Doing December Differently...

Ou Father;
which art in Dixons
hallowed be thy games;
thy new releases come,
thy videoing be done
in Nicam as it is in mono;
give us this day our daily emails,
and forgive us for not spending enough,
as we forgive those who spend too little on us;
lead us not into Oxfam,
but deliver us from charitable giving;
for thine is the DVD,
the widescreen and the Game Boy,
for ever and ever
Amen.

23 Advent

2007-12-23T17:41:00.000Z

Christmas Atmosphere 2006
Originally uploaded by krisdecurtis

Both feeling too exhausted to move. The darkness has settled in early and I'm feeling a certain sadness as the church bells toll and I simply can't summon the energy to go and listen to the 9 lessons and sing the carols that echo the joy and desire to worship in the deepest part of me. But trying to follow the "no" in the hope that tomorrows nativity service will be a yes...

Found this poem by Christine Vial, The Day Before Christmas Eve.

Cradled in the sofa's arms
as the darkness settles in
on this shortest of days

reading a new book
eating satsumas -
their skins unfolding like golden stars
the sweet-sharp pungent scent
drifting among the smoky winter potpourri
the sound of the radio in the kitchen
the rustle of present wrapping from the next room

We have come through together -
closer, though a little scarred -
and create this sense of peace:
fragrant, fragile and transient.

This is the moment of silence
at the top of the wave:
before the phone rings
before the train arrives
before the door is opened
before the barbarian hordes
before the thunder rolls...

20, 21, 22 Advent

2007-12-22T14:59:00.003Z

It's been a really tough week, as work comes to a close. So often we're aware that holidays, and especially Christmas, are really difficult for the young people we work with and this week brought that home in a number of ways.

One of my most brilliant young people was thrown out of home. It was really painful picking her up from a house fully decorated and primed for the big day but knowing that such a supposed family time had become impossible in that place.

This made me reflect on the Christmas story, bringing home the desperation of Mary and Joseph not being able to find a place to stay and the following flight into Egypt in fear for their lives.

Another young person faces court this week with the likelihood of going into a young offenders institution and yet another of my girls is contemplating the arrival of her baby in February.

It's funny how life gives you opportunities for a new perspective or different understanding.

19 Advent

2007-12-19T19:30:00.000Z

Feeling a bit that if I don't laugh I might cry today and luckily there have been a couple of really funny takes on the Christmas theme.

Private Eye is brilliant from it's X-mas Factor front cover with Gabriel telling Mary "you're going to be a celebrity".

To a Spoof Conran Christmas diary in which Terrance declares "A crib for a bed? Not when there are so many more stylish and relaxing options." and "I'd put an absolute ban on entertaining shepherds and related farm-workers at this time of year. Lambs, maybe but only if pre-slaughtered. Frankly, shepherds tend to be very grubby, bringing soil and what-not into the house, and Christmas is a time of clean lines and dazzling white surfaces; frankly you don't want the place to end up a tip".

But my favourite joke, as heard on BBC Radio2...

Why is Christmas Day just like any day in the office?

You do all the hard work and the fat guy in the suit takes the credit!

Ho, ho, ho.

18 Advent

2007-12-18T20:25:00.000Z

Listen carefully, through the stillness:
listen, hear the songs of angels glorious -
ere long it will be heard
that His foot has reached the earth.

God the Lord has opened a door.
Christ of Hope, door of Joy!

Though laid in a manger,
He came from a throne:
on earth though a stranger
in heaven He was known.

Extract from Christmas Liturgy, Northumbria Community

17 Advent

2007-12-17T22:31:00.000Z

We had our Christmas event with about 20 young people tonight, it was really wonderful. 5 stations looking at the key characters in the story and a great reworked version of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen by GKJ sung in between each station.

1. We were met by Mary who told us what it was like to get the news she was expecting and how she decided to trust God- the question was what were we trusting God with this Christmas? We had to write the answer to this on a bauble and take it to hang on the tree.

2. We were thinking about God with a keynote presentation that looked at why God did what he did through Jesus - we then had to text a response to that and were given the picture above for wallpaper on our mobiles. (The picture was created by one of our girls in Cafe led by Nicki and Emma on God as light of the world, using an LED light and slow exposure! Cool)

3. The shepherds risked everything by leaving their sheep, it cost them a lot to go and visit the baby but nothing held them back - what is holding us back from spending time with Jesus this season? We made a pipecleaner symbol of the answer and left it in the field with the sheep.

4. Joseph showed extreme commitment to Mary, defying all the social conventions of the day and then going on the run - what does God want us to be committed to? We wrote it down on a paper chain link and joined them together as a community.

5. The wise men faithfully followed the star in order to worship the baby king - will we worship? We met a new baby and listened to "Light of the world".

It was really magical and the kids clearly had a good time, it very very sacred and real and having a little baby brought the whole thing to life even his cries!

Light of the world you stepped down into darkness,
opened my eyes let me see.
Beauty that made this heart adore you,
hope of a life spent with you.

Here I am to worship, here I am to bow down
here I am to say that your my God
You're altogether lovely, all together worthy
All together wonderful to me

Kind of all days oh so highly exulted,
glorious in heaven above.
Humbly you came to the earth you created,
all for loves sake became poor.

So here I am to worship, here I am to bow down
here I am to say that your my God
You're altogether lovely, all together worthy
All together wonderful to me

I'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross.
And I'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross.
No I'll never know how much it cost to se my sin upon that cross.

16 Advent

2007-12-16T14:48:00.000Z

Saying "no" is a harder lesson to learn for some than others but this season gives us plenty of chance to practice!

On Thursday as I scrapped ice off the car windscreen I looked longingly down the street at the frosty white fields and the pink sky that hung heavily over them. All of my being wanted to tramp off for a walk but instead I got into the car drove to Luton and spent an unproductive and frustrating day in the office.

I should have said no to all the "I should do's", I have a job that allows me time out and heaven knows I'm always telling the team "if you are giving out you need time to receive, to fill up again". Re-tellling the story of Thursday morning I went for the walk, found peace, space for my tired brain and re-framing for the last week and a half of term. As it was I short changed both my brain and my soul and came down with a cold the next day and feel sure not listening was one of the reasons why. I may be quite good at refusing offers and invitations from people but I need to listen to the inner "no" and learn to trust it.

As we hear about those seeking the baby Jesus, we are reminded it's a good thing for us to do too. Maybe if I'd have followed the example of the shepherd's last Thursday would have been different. The Christ Child has much to teach us about balance right through his life. The adult Jesus would often retreat from all the "should do's", to leave the crowds - no matter how dependent - to seek out a holy space to be and pray.

I hope this advent will give us ears to hear our "no's" above all the "yes's" and a space to look at creative ways we can follow His example.

15 Advent

2007-12-15T22:42:00.001Z

I've oft been called a 'slugabed' but why not when it's cold and grey outside. Today's post is dedicated to slowing down ... to a stop and reflecting in a way that can only be done under a duvet!

Take it away Jars of Clay...

14 Advent

2007-12-14T22:47:00.000Z

Celebrating Christmas with the works Christmas Party tonight, so no thoughtful post... just looking forward to great food, wine, company, secret santa presents and pass the parcel. The hall is shimmering with tinsel and lights and the joy of another year together is palpable!

Bringing love to those who lack it is a huge challenge and one that's really taken a toll on the team this year, we're looking forward to a break even though the work never stops. It's amazing to spend time with such brilliant and broken angels...

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

13 Advent

2007-12-13T22:51:00.000Z

I haven't had much time for blog browsing recently but on a quick check of one of my favourites, Simply Simon I found this heart warming tale, enjoy if you're in need of some hope!

Ali and Nathaniel are city kids. Home is on the 12th floor of a high-rise apartment building located in the very heart of Melbourne, Australia’s second largest city.

Though Melbourne’s central business district is home to some 12,000 people, kids like Ali (12) and Nathaniel (10) make up less than 6% of the population. Despite this and the negative clichés that surround city living, they love their neighbourhood.

Granted, getting to know the neighbours isn’t easy. As with any suburban street, there are those who are always up for a chat, and others who barely grunt when greeted. The added challenge for Ali and Nathaniel is their building’s security system. Swipe cards provide each resident access to the common areas at ground level and his or her floor...Meeting neighbours happens most often around the mailboxes, on the lift, or across the laneway at the local café. Building relationships takes time and a high degree of creativity.

Undeterred, Ali and Nathaniel decided Christmas was a great excuse for a special effort. “Let’s make cookies,” Ali said to her dad. “For everyone?” he asked, bemused. With 130 apartments over 18 levels, this was no mean feat... Two days were set aside to make the 390 chocolate chip cookies—just three per apartment. Then Ali scoured the reject shops for cellophane paper, ribbon and gift cards. Meanwhile Nathaniel made arrangements with the building manager to get access to each floor for delivery. Come baking day and time was divided between cooking and hand writing 130 gift cards with the simple message, “Happy Christmas, with love from the kids in 1204.”...

Delivery was the highlight. Accompanied by a grinning building manager and his wife, Ali and Nathaniel made their way to every level of the building, one after the other, carefully hanging their Christmas gifts on each door handle as they went.

In retrospect, this was a simple act, but one with profound consequences. In the days following delivery, Ali and Nathaniel’s mailbox was inundated with thank-you cards and little Christmas gifts. They received invitations to visit neighbours in their apartments, to meet their cats and drink hot chocolates. Conversations opened up with people who previously had never even glanced in their direction. About a month later, Ali and Nathaniel received a letter from the Body Corporate--the building's management committee--thanking them for what they had done and highlighting their act as one of the most significant community making events in the history of the building. In reality, something changed in the building from that day on.

Whether we live in a high-rise in the heart of the city, a three-bedroom brick veneer in the suburbs, or a farmhouse in the country, loving our neighbours has never been more challenging or important. More than ever, it requires intention and creativity. Then again, chocolate chip cookies are not rocket science.

12 Advent

2007-12-12T21:31:00.000Z

Had an early Christmas present this month, the new Jars of Clay cd winged it's way to me thanks to a very on the ball Gingerkid. It's got some fantastic arrangements on it, a couple of brilliant original tracks and some covers with slightly unfortunate parallels - The Little Drummer Boy which sounds like a James Bond remix.

However, it's great to hear a reinterpretation of those songs which we love but which get a little too familiar, it breathes fresh life into them and I have noticed so many different aspects and thought about things in new ways.

The Little Drummer Boy - despite it's licensed to thrill under tones - really pressed home the aspect of what we have individually that we can offer to God and that at this time of year our own ways of marking the events of that first Christmas are important. Yes it's great when we can share traditions but we can't be made to, we also need to recognise our own rituals or even at times to know when it's time to move on from yesteryear.

I was talking to a fairly recently married couple who felt it impossible not to do the family thing and we were thinking about when that might end and how to sow seeds now for future years. It's not an unusual situation and one that luckily I don't have to struggle with thanks to wonderfully supportive and generous parents. Christmas is a time to be together with family but family looks like different things at different times and individuals needs are important too.

I've tried to be wary of that Christmas competitiveness that can creep in too, I am really behind this year in terms of presents and decorations but I am happy with that, I have have had other more important things to focus on and I enjoy the slow build up. But I say I am happy with this until I talk to someone who has done all their shopping, wrapped it, done the cards and got the tree up, then I feel behind and stressed. How ridiculous, advent is a time to slow down and find your own pace and space, to think about what you bring to the season and how.

I played my drum for Him (pa-rum-pa-pum-pum)
I played my best for Him (pa-rum-pa-pum-pum)
Then, He smiled at me (pa-rum-pa-pum-pum)
Me and my drum

11 Advent

2007-12-12T20:30:00.000Z

Yesterday we held an RE day for Year 7 exploring Christmas, with 180 kids we had our work cut out. We had an art session exploring hopes and fears of the season, a game deciding on our beliefs about giving and greed and a drama session imagining how the nightly news would have reported it if Jesus had been born in a garage in Luton!

As ever it was a case of out of the mouths of babes (or devils pre horn and tail formation), my favourite comments were...

"I wish Jesus would be born in Luton today!" "Why?" "Because he can do miracles" - it certainly felt like we could have done with a few of those keeping order!!

In answer to "What gift would you take the baby Jesus?", "Cheese" - along with a neat sketch of a holey slice, a little too much festice Wallace and Grommit?

A particular highlight was the drama group which had a Marsh Farm Chav visiting Jesus and bringing a spliff - can't argue with the characterisation!

And one of the liveliest characters (for which read I haven't taken my ritalin today)turned to me and said "I wish I could be a Christian" when I asked him why he said "then I could come to church!" "Oh, you don't have to be a Christian to go to church" I said somewhat taken aback, "Really?" he said wide eyed, "then I'm going to come at Christmas."

Then I read the following ...

In The Challenge of Cultural Influence, John Seel writes: The cultural crisis is first and foremost a church crisis—a crisis of discipleship. It is a scandal that nonbelievers perceive Christians as just another special interest group or market niche rather than those who are drawing on the resources of the kingdom of heaven in order to demonstrate the power of truth lived with overwhelming love.

Our challenge this advent season, almost makes 80 miles, pregnant, on a donkey look easy!

10 Advent

2007-12-10T14:21:00.000Z

Aunty and Uncle Flower recently headed off to the Lakes for a break and as Mr Flower and I had been there in the not too distant we recommended some attractions to visit. One of those was the spectacular Grizedale Forest and sculpture trail, it really is one of the best of it's kind. The relatives duly took our advice and took advantage of a dry spell to wander one of the trails. Amongst the views and the artistic endeavours they came across the somewhat surprising sign below!

Not something left from our visit but maybe from angels who couldn't know the many meanings of their message! And in a season of thinking about the unexpected, signs, wonder and most of all love it just seemed good to share the serendipitous story that somehow covers all those things...

Love came down at christmas
Love all lovely, love divine
Love was born at christmas
Stars and angels gave the sign

Love will be our token
Love be yours and love be mine
Love from God to all of us love
Love for plea and gift and sign

09 Advent

2007-12-09T19:49:00.000Z

Mr Flower and I went to a brilliantly packed and chaotic Christingle at All Saints this afternoon, about 150 people filled the church and the majority of those were children.

It was great to remember the symbolism behind the Christingle and I especially loved the four sticks for the seasons and the fruits of creation, something I value so much about living here in the UK. The service also gave us chance to give thanks for the village and to think about how we can make it an even better place to live for future generations.

The highlight of the service though was when the children came and stood in the aisles which make a cross in the centre of the church. Christingles were lit and the church lights turned out. In the flickering candle light we sang Away in a Manger, the children leading the singing. It was all I could do to hold back tears, a very special moment which raised the Christmas spirit for the first time this year!

08 Advent

2007-12-09T19:32:00.000Z

Waiting

God, so much of faith is waiting

like a pregnant woman
waiting in hope

like a people under siege
holding out till relief comes

like the soul lost in the darkness
unable to see even a glimmer of light
yet stumbling through the night
because somewhere,
out ahead,
day will surely break

God be in our waiting.

Kathy Galloway

07 Advent

2007-12-09T19:20:00.001Z

Hot on the heels on the Manchester Passion comes the Liverpool Nativity. Marking it's place as this year's city of culture.

It will be aired on BBC Three on Sun 16 Dec, 8:00 pm - 9:00 pm

"The Christmas story live in Liverpool as you've never seen it before. Liverpool's great musical heritage is the soundtrack to this contemporary music drama set in a fictitious state. It is a tale as relevant today as it was 2000 years ago - an intimate personal story of a pregnant young girl set against a backdrop of political tension and unrest. Starring Geoffrey Hughes as the Angel Gabriel, Jodie McNee as Mary, Kenny Thompson as Joseph, Jennifer Ellison as an Angel and other well known Liverpool personalities turning up in unexpected places".

06 Advent

2007-12-06T22:05:00.000Z

I found this photo on flickr the other day and it was a perfect prompt that this advent season amid all the craziness, we must keep looking for the source of the light.

05 Advent

2007-12-06T21:53:00.001Z

Confession

In the beginning was the word
but we refused to listen
In the beginning was the word
but we were illiterate
In the beginning was the word
but we miss spelt him
In the beginning was the word
but we didn't speak his language
In the beginning was the word
but we turned him into a sentence
In the beginning was the word
but we preferred our own words
In the beginning was the word
but we were into moving pictures
In the beginning was the word
but we abbreviated him
In the beginning was the word
but we changed the subject
In the beginning was the word
but we put him in a powerpoint presentation
In the beginning was the word
but he became an expletive
In the beginning was the word
but we queried his grammar
In the beginning was the word
but we deleted him from our vocabulary

Author unknown.

04 Advent

2007-12-04T21:36:00.000Z

Last year I had an advent candle and each night I would use the time it burned to think about and to bring to God someone who was far away from me, either geographically or through life's business. It was a sacred time and I may pop out for one this weekend.

03 Advent

2007-12-03T21:28:00.000Z

Midwinter Prayer

God of all creation
of bare forest and low northern skies
of paths unknown and never to be taken
of bramble, sparrow and damp, dark earth

we thank you for loss, for the breaking of the dimming year
we thank you for light, even in it's seeming midwinter failing
we thanks you for life, for it's hope and resistance
like a seed dying and living.

Rachel Mann

Taken from Doing December Differently

02 Advent

2007-12-02T20:13:00.000Z

The Christmas term is always busy for us, it's assemblies in particular this week during which I tell the story of Jim and his family and how they experimented with Christmas celebrations...

Last year Jim and his family decided to celebrate in a different way. The names of each family member were put into a hat and they took turns to draw one name out. They no longer had to buy loads of presents for all their relatives but they had to do something extra special for the name they picked. Something that showed they loved that person, they knew their likes and dislikes and was a gift that cost the giver something of them self. This is what Jim writes...

Last year our youngest daugther, Amanda, drew my name. I've been a runner for most of my life, and she has never been one. For Christmas, she registered both of us for a 10K fun run that was scheduled for the following February. [We] then spent the time between Christmas and the run training together. When the day came, we ran the entire 10K together. On the wall in my bedroom, I have a picture of us crossing the finish line. It is one of my treasures because my little girl, thought about who I was, and took some time to give something of herself to me.

He says “I can't stop the world from making Christmas what it makes it. But, I can - and I will - spend the Advent Season this year slowing down, spending time with family and friends, giving myself to them, celebrating their presence in my life.

Find more of Jim's thoughts on his post of 19th Nov 06 www.faithwalking.blogpot.com

Advent is here...

2007-12-01T19:58:00.000Z

I love the idea of trying to post every day in advent as a way to reflect on the season and to prepare for Christmas. I'm sure it will be very much like opening a calendar; missing days and opening two on others but we'll see.

Aunty Flower kicks us off with this...

A Christmas Thought

If, as Herod, we fill our lives with things;
If we consider ourselves so unimportant that we must fill our lives with action;
When will we have the time to make the long journey across the desert as did the Magi?
Or sit and watch the stars as did the Shepherds?
Or brood over the coming of the Child, as did Mary?

For each of us there is a desert to travel,
A star to discover,
And a being within ourselves to bring to life!

Blessed are the cracked...

2007-11-23T19:17:00.000Z

Had a whole week back in sunny (and somewhat freezing) Luton and no dashing off anywhere to advertise the brilliant world that is schoolswork.co.uk - check it out!

And it's been a great week. Had appraisal; not fired! Seen one of my chaplains doing her thing in school and been blown away watching classes thinking about Peace and it's role in their lives, seen the awesome creative work another is doing getting kids to think about prayer whilst the others are going to take whole year groups on to engage them in thinking about God and where faith fits in their worlds. Honoured to work with these amazing individuals.

Met a brilliant youth worker from Chelmsford (we met so many more when we were away too)who just confirmed for me how blessed we are at LCET with all the support and fantastic management we have.

Went into London to Patio - THE best Polish restaurant, like eating good school dinners in an aging aunts dinning room! Probably not the best way to sell it and not referring to my aunt, who was there and looking younger than ever in a very funky hat it has to be said! Early celebs of Uncle's birthday too (rock on!).

Then off to Bush Hall to see Duke Special. Oh my word, one of the most fun gigs I've been too! The song sheets were handed round Music Hall style, fitting to the venue but these sheets included 'I predict a riot', 'Wuthering Heights', 'Jump', and 'Maps' not exactly the good old days but brilliantly funny. And I just loved watching everyone singing, and people love to sing, I think we're designed to do it (something to do with worship me thinks?!)but many of us don't get the chance!

Anyway, it was cool because it felt beautiful and sad and laugh-out-loud-funny all at once. The band have a unique mission. Then there was an angelic moment when he sang about "sometimes we need to be broken, to let the light out". Shivers ran down my spine because Aunty Flower had sent me a card last week after my 'dead woman walking' post and it had a badge on which said "Blessed are the cracked for they let in the light"! Two different angles on the same theme; treasure in clay pots an' all and this whole time has been so much about that - even today helping out a friend who is both beautiful and broken right now.

I love how God speaks to us, alway gentle, always creative, always expansive never restrictive, often with laughter, tears and the unexpected.

Dead woman walking

2007-11-10T17:54:00.000Z

So here I am manning (or womaning ?) The schoolswork stand at the Youthwork conference and it's fair to say I am totally shattered!

BUT, and it's a big one, it has been totally brilliant and well worth it. It's a total rollercoaster, from despair - trying to put the scaffold stand together; not understanding the plans, it having too many bolts and us all being too short to just brilliant times of sharing; amazing youthworkers who were really encouraging about the project and just so willing to share about their stories.

I think we've probably all found new strengths in ourselves that we didn't know existed before!

Will take some reflection and much recovery but good, good, good!

Comment

2007-10-16T19:28:00.000+01:00

So TDog (source of all things interesting currently) had posted a lengthly reflection on Christians and violence following a conversation that started something like Christian Youth Workers should switch the tv off after 4:30 and not watch any films over PG rating (I simplify).

Well I tried to offer my two pennies worth in the form of the comment but it repeatedly failed to process, so deciding it was probably too long I thought I'd retype it here (that's love for you).

Penny One. I'm reading Soul Graffiti and Mark Scandrette said something that I think accords with what TDog was exploring, he writes...

"The message of the kingdom of love comes to us in the context of our culture, and we grasp the message by awareness of it's meaning in our particular time and place. Jesus was a student of his time and related his message to the concerns and context of people in a particular place...I watched the film Boys Don't Cry to get a better understanding of my neighbour, now in a same sex relationship, who, much like the girl in the movie, spent her teenage years in a small town. Discussing the film together opened the door to intimacy and trust in our friendship. I like to watch movies or read books with people so that viewing becomes a springboard into conversation about meaning and values. If we don't like what we see in the arts and media, we are invited to transition from culture consumers to culture makers".

Penny Two. One of the worst cases I had to report on was of three teenagers who repeatedly stabbed another lad and pushed him off a cliff after taking drugs and watching the movie Scream. Now lots is going on here and the violence is only one small aspect. But in films, and particularly in the case of video games, I have long been worried about how some young people cannot seperate reality and fantasy and cannot critique their feelings or the actions a game induces them to carry out. And it worries me that such games are almost always without consequence, shoot people, steal cars, walk away etc.

But as people of faith I think we need to use these things, as Scandrette suggests, to ask questions of the young people we know. What are the choices they make, what is the value of life/possessions, what do we learn from what we see, if we're learning that we can act however we want how do we handle it when we're crossed, what are the consequences to our actions, what does this 'mean' for us, is there such a thing as too violent, where do we draw a line? And we need to ask ourselves the same questions too.

I do however, think it's ridiculous to say as people of faith we shouldn't watch violent movies, read violent books etc what do we do edit Jesus' life story?

Upload

2007-10-16T19:20:00.000+01:00

Suffering from a virus, the perception of too much to do, wet weather and the feeling of becoming translucent, I wrote this...

Stop
Switch off
Log in, to a new space
Enter the password; permission
Hear the hard disk whirring, see the lights flicker
Open space.
What is the icon for this place?
A blank sheet, a question mark, a cross?
Be, here. Not do.
Allow order to arrange itself, while you are not watching.
Focus instead elsewhere,
To your heartbeat
From faint or racing …to rhythmical.
Feel the expansion
Of physicality, of possibility, of eternity.
Upload

In the interest of balance...

2007-10-10T12:53:00.001+01:00

...another gem from Tom

POLITICALLY CORRECT LORD'S PRAYER

Our (mis)Concept of Patriarchal Authority, who, it can be said, inhabits the metaphysical sphere, privileged be your signifier.

May your social structure achieve dominance.

May the enactment of your desire be manifested throughout the physical-metaphysical dichotomy.

Empower us this day with the means of material production,

And refuse to enforce sanctions against our behavior which some see as subversions of a moral perspective, just as we refuse to marginalize the moral perspectives of others who have exerted their individuality.

Don't lead us into situation that some would (mis)understand as detrimental to the full expression of our humanness, but liberate us from the concept of "evil."

For yours is the hegemony, and the dominance, and perceived mystification within the entire continuum of the Western concept of linear time.

The Lord's Prayer

2007-10-08T18:52:00.000+01:00

TDog led a very thought provoking chapel time about The Lord's Prayer this morning - in fact a think there's a whole series on one of St Francis' writings about this prayer but that's for a spare moment!

One of the pieces that really stood out was questioning our remote auto- pilot repetition and our failure to consider really the radical nature of the prayer Jesus' taught us to say. Arch Bishop, Rowan Williams says this..

"Every single bit of the Lord's Prayer is radical because every single bit of it challenges our assumptions about who we are and who God is and what the world is like ... what it's praying for is the most revolutionary change you can imagine in the world we live in. A change to a situation where what God wants can happen, to a situation where all the hungry are fed, to a situation where forgiveness is the first imperative in all our relationships..."

Below is the version that somewhat pulled me up short about what I say Sunday by Sunday often by rote...

*I cannot say Our if my religion has no room for others and their needs

*I cannot say Father if I do not demonstrate this in my daily living.

*I cannot say who art in heaven if all my interests are in things and possessions.

*I cannot say hallowed be thy name if I am not holy.

*I cannot say thy kingdom come if I act like I am the centre of the universe.

*I cannot say thy will be done if I am unwilling or resentful of having it in my life.

*I cannot say on earth as it is in heaven unless I am willing to serve and help others.

*I cannot say give us this day our daily bread without providing for others.

*I cannot say forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us if I continue to harbour a grudge against anyone.

*I cannot say lead us not into temptation if I deliberately choose to remain in a situation where I am likely to be tempted.

*I cannot say deliver us from evil if I am not prepared to back up my plea for God's help with constant prayer.

*I cannot say thine is the kingdom if I do not act as part of that kingdom-responsible, caring, and willing to serve.

*I cannot say thine is the glory if I am seeking my own glory first.

*I cannot say forever if I am too anxious about each day's worries and activities.

*I cannot say Amen unless I honestly say, "Cost what it may, this is my prayer."

Celebrate good times come on!

2007-09-18T04:55:00.000+01:00

I had the blessed (interpret that at will) task of leading team worship this morning and decided we'd look at the theme of "celebrating". If we really have some 'good news' how are we living that out?

We remembered God saying to Jesus "this is my son with whom I am WELL pleased" (which always makes me smile because it's like God has gone ghetto but...) and taking time to listen to why he may also be 'well pleased' with us, which we duly did.

We then shared our celebration with another person. Next, numbered 1 and 2 all the way round the room, every 2 moved to a new number 1 and shared what their original number 1 was celebrating. It felt like boasting about someone elses achievements which was overwhelmingly positive...and pride seemed to be jumping all over the room.

Finally we all summed up in one sentance what we were celebrating before sharing communion.

I thought the idea worked really well, even though I didn't felt I presented the whole idea very effectively (but hey I was tired after my weekend sortie to north yorkshire), I certainly forgot alot of the stuff I'd planned to say. Most importantly what I forgot to tell everyone was that I was actually celebrating something incredible ....the fact that at 32, whilst in the supermarket buying wine for communion I'd been asked for id!!!

Reasons to be cheerful!

Great Yorkshire Amateur Chef of the Year

2007-09-17T19:40:00.000+01:00

That's my brother that is! Yes, Tim beat off stiff competition to scoop the coverted title yesterday.

Only just 18, he remained cool as a cucumber whilst roasting the other competitors in the final held at Harvey Nichols, Leeds.

He now has to demonstrate his dish to the great and good at one of the Yorkshire Agricultural Society's shows ... and amazingly he wasn't originally going to enter!!!

Shoot for the moon kiddo ...we'll be back up for dinner soon!

(Ed note: This article previously used the title Yorkshire Young Chef of the Year we apologise for the inaccuracy of this statement and recognise that the correct accolade really makes Timbo a whole lot more clever!So in that case we're coming up for dinner AND dessert! ;-))

Don't stretch that metaphor

2007-09-14T20:15:00.000+01:00

The 9th September saw my 4th annual LCET service. It's so amazing how we've grown in that time from about 12 when I first started, to 26 this year, including our lovely volunteers and two interns.

Our challenge as a team is to go into the deep end ... deeper with the young people, deeper in the scope and reach of our work and deeper in our spiritual lives both as team and as individuals.

To start that off the chaplaincy team had our first termly half day of prayer and God really challenged us to accept that we are loved and to live in the strength of that this year.

We were using the metaphor of the deep end as we prayed which was helpful to a point until I heard myself saying "and what are the blown up pyjama trousers of your faith?" - take me now!! In mitigation (not that I suspect there is any after that question but...) we had been remembering swimming survival lessons - the mystifying diving to get a brick ('really it's only a brick, I'd let it drown') and the jumping in with your nightwear on (see the headline 'sleepwalking ends in tragedy') - taking your bottoms off, tying a knot in each leg, inflating them and enjoying your blue-peter style bouyancy aid (which as with all bp projects didn't actually work).

It was a firm lesson that imagery should be carefully controlled!

Whipsnade!

2007-09-09T10:22:00.000+01:00

Had a great day at the zoo with Quinladen and Mr Flower yesterday - leaving aside the whole ethical debate about zoo's and the chimps bad skin condition - it was great to see so many animals and we managed to time all our stops to fantastic displays whether the hippo wallowing, the lemur love-in or the elephant walk. Enjoy!

Virus Warning

2007-09-05T11:54:00.000+01:00

I don't usually post these but this one's serious ...

There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally,
and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer
(WORK).

If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone
else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your
private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on and take
two good friends to the nearest restaurant. Purchase the antidote known
as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or
Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote
repeatedly, until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5
friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your
life.

With thanks to Wickedx